I Am Unpredictable (Book 3)

Chapter Seven: G is for Good Guys

"Richard, answer me."

Don't do it.

"Talk to me! Come on, you've been ignoring me—actually, everyone—all day today. You have to talk to me." Alia tightly holds onto my hand and rests her head on my shoulder. "Something is clearly bothering you."

I refuse to make eye contact. I really don't want to lose her, but at the same time, I'm ruining our relationship. I guess everyone was right about Becca—she stabbed me in the back. Getting back together with her just sets me up for future heart break down the road. 

But I'm an asshole. I made out with Becca twice without Alia knowing. Twice. When I was doing it, I didn't feel guilty at all, which just proves how much of a careless jerk I am.

I try to hold back tears. The guilt is catching onto me—and it sucks. Surprisingly, Becca and Brandon haven't sat down at our table yet. They always sit with us at lunch. 

If Becca shows up, I will literally lose my ability to hold in my guilt.

"Richard."

I feel a single tear roll down my cheek from my bright green eyes. I try to hold the rest of the tears from falling, but I can't.

I just sit there and burst into tears, looking like a complete wimp.

"Oh my goodness," She tightly hugs me, kissing my cheek gently. "What the hell happened to you?"

"I hate my life," I utter, crying even harder.

"Why?"

"I'm a cheater."

She lets go of me, revealing a face of panic and confusion. "A cheater?"

I slowly nod.

She parts her lips a little bit and looks around at her surroundings, trying to come up with answers to why I'm a cheater. "Please tell me you're referring to chess. You cheated at chess, right?" Her face clearly screams "panic".

I shake my head. "You. I cheated on you."

"You cheated on me?" she repeats, biting her lip in nervousness.

"Becca and I made out yesterday... twice." I feel the tears come back again, making me unable to speak and think correctly. "And I started it."

I did it. I can't take it back, nor can I refrain myself from admitting the truth. It's better that she knows now instead of finding out later, I guess.

You're a douchebag, Richard.

"Do you like her?" Alia's voice sounds shaky as if she's about to cry, too. It kind of scares me to hear her like this. I have never seen her cry in my entire lifetime. Then again, I've only known her for three months or so. 

"I don't know." I sniffle loudly and take a deep breath. My eyes are stinging from crying so hard. My heart is sore and I have a raging headache. "I grant you permission to punch me in the face as many times as you would like."

"No."

"Wait, what?" I glance at her in confusion. My crying slows down to a more tolerable pace. I get weird looks from people nearby, but that really isn't my biggest problem right now. "But Alia, I—"

"I know."

"But—"

"Richard, shut up. Please. Even though you—" She suddenly pauses, "—made out with her twice, I forgive you."

No. This can't be happening.

"You can't forgive me, Alia. I did something really stupid that I can't even forgive myself for doing. I don't deserve anyone, and I definitely don't deserve you." My tears start falling even harder, picking up speed. Before I know it, I'm crying as hard as I was when I started.