All Friends Check-In (The Suite Life of Zack & Cody)

14. Cookin' with Romeo & Juliet

Zack and Cody ran into the lobby, looking terrified, as if they had been running from someone or something. I paused the audiobook I was listening to and pulled off my headphones, wondering what had scared the twins.

"Mr. Moseby," the twins shouted in unison.

"It's a hideous monster," Zack exclaimed.

"And it's coming this way," Cody added.

"Boys, I can assure you there are no such things as monsters," Uncle Marion assured them.

"Oh, yeah? Look!" Zack pointed to the main entrance.

I, too, glanced at the revolving doors and was shocked to see Ilsa Shikelgrubermiger enter the lobby. I remembered that she had been fired from her position as a hotel inspector. 

"I'm back," Ilsa announced, glaring at Uncle Marion.

The twins and I, including Carey and my uncle, screamed, freaking out that the Nazi herself had returned. I wondered if she was out to ruin Uncle Marion, recalling that she would be back.

"Quick, get behind me, boys! You too, Marley," Carey remarked. "Don't look her in the mole. I mean, the eyes."

I sprang from the chair I was sitting on just as Zack and Cody dashed behind their mother. As I got behind Carey, Uncle Marion attempted to take cover with me, but I gave him an expression, reminding him that he had stood up to Ilsa before. My uncle turned, prepared to face the feminine version of Hitler.

"Mr. Moseby," Ilsa held a challenging expression.

"Miss Shikelgrubermiger," Uncle Marion stated calmly.

"Actually, since you had me fired from the Tipton organization, I've gotten married."

"You're kidding," Carey's jaw dropped.

I wondered what man saw past her mole.

"No," Ilsa held up her left hand, showing a wedding ring. "My married name is Ilsa Shikelgrubermiger-Von Helsing Der Kepperlugerhofer."

"You're kidding," Carey repeated.

"That must take forever to write on your underwear," Cody remarked.

"I have a stamp," Ilsa snapped.

"Her ID card must be huge," I muttered.

"But that's not my only happy news," Ilsa turned back to Uncle Marion. "I have become the manager of the St. Mark Hotel across the street."

"Oh no," Zack gasped.

"Oh yes! And I will not rest until the Tipton is a parking lot and you are parking the cars." 

Ilsa let out a growl that made me think of a demonic chihuahua and exited the building.

"Mr. Moseby, that was awesome. You weren't scared at all," Cody exclaimed happily.

My uncle suddenly fainted after being freaked out by Ilsa's return.

"Mr. Moseby?" Cody wondered.

I went over to my uncle and fanned him with a magazine, attempting to give him some air.

A few days later, Cody showed me how to make his version of cookies with walnuts and cranberries. I tasted one, which was fantastic, so I asked him to show me how to bake them. A guest tried a cookie and ended up buying the entire basket. Zack started seeing dollar signs at the thought of being rich. 

I got roped into helping Cody bake the cookies when it became clear Zack wasn't helping him. I noticed how exhausted Cody was from baking. I offered to take over since I had watched him put it all together, and he showed me the ropes. Even Carey suggested that he take a break.