Killed by words

mother's view

Kady's mums point if view:

I've been having weird feelings lately. I just don't feel right. I feel a bit off. I've had these unusual thoughts such as when I'm cutting my soft toast in half with a knife every morning I just want to point the knife directly somewhere else. Somewhere were it shouldn't go. I've been having bad thoughts since I can remember. Wishing I could push my siblings down stairs, set the house on fire and so on. I've tried to get the medical help that I need. I have even tried to be on medication but none of that works for me, so I recently stopped taking them. Even when taken them I still get spine-chilling thoughts and I still get nightmares of that day 12 years ago. That appalling, atrocious, abhorrent night. I killed him, Kady and Charli's father.

To move onto the day I kill Kady and charli's farther, Lewis. The month was march, it was our 10 year anniversary. I was so excited that I even worn my best earrings and dress that cost the price of £200. Lewis told me that he booked a really posh and well put together restaurant near the western pier in Bristol. After arriving there it really did look expensive. The only thing I could think of was how expensive this all cost and his we were able to offord this.

Me and Lewis had a wonderful time to our selfs away from the little kids. It was like falling in love with him all over again. That was untill he went to the bathroom while I stayed behind  waiting by our table for him to hurry up. A phone nearby me began to ring. It was Lewis's phone, I could tell by the ringtone. He had left his phone on the chair opposite me. It must of been his boss ringing. I lent over to see what the name read.

"Olivia?" I whispered "we don't know an Olivia"

Thinking I could be able to trust him i didn't touch his phone. I decided to bring it up and ask him about it while we were driving home. I held my breath all the way untill we got to our rusty, old car. That's when I asked him.

"Lewis, who's Olivia?" I said trying to not seem bothered. Although, I really was.

Lewis was trying to act stupid about it after me asking.

"She rang you, don't act stupid. I know you saw the miss call notifications when you looked at your phone" my eyes teared up.

He didn't say anything for a while. He stopped the car on the side of the quiet road near a hill. The rain began falling from the misty sky. It got louder as the conversation got more intense. Words that's shouldn't of been said were said and hands were thrown. The rain thundered to cover up the anger in our voices.

"I'm so sorry, you're right. I do know Olivia. I- I slept with her. It was a mistake I swear." Lewis blurted out.

I clenched my hands not expecting that he would actually admit to it. This is the moment we're I knew everything was going to change. Nothing was no longer the same after that night.

I lost control of my body and grabbed a butter knife from my purse. I must of subconsciously stole it from the restaurant. I can't even remember staking it. The next thing I knew it the knife was placed through Lewis's heart.

"Shit, what have I done?" I said as the knife dropped onto my car seat from my sweaty hands.

I strived to help him come back to consciencenes but I couldn't, it was too late. He was dead. Pale as a sheep muttons wool. I couldn't back out now. I had to find a way to hide the body, what was my other options. Risking loosing my kids if I confess and then get sent to jail and if I run away I would never be able to see any of my family again. I had to hide the body. I had too, but where? I had to think of a plan and quick.

I placed his body so it looked like he was driving the car and I gave him a little kiss on his stale forehead.

"Sorry not sorry" I whispered into his right ear. I don't why I said it. Part of me wanted to tell him that I loved him but he cheated on me. The love I once felt would never be the same. I quickly started the car, slammed the door and ran. I didn't stop running. I heard the car roll down the muddy hill where it hit a large rock. I could smell a whiff of smoke that entered my caves on my nose. I just kept running. Running to the beat of my tears that fell onto the ground. Why am I like this.