LEMONADE | Ricky Bowen

26

LENNON RAE PHILLIPS

After saving Miss. Jenn rehearsals went on as planned and as Thanksgiving neared I soon realised that I was once again alone for yet another holiday.

Ricky and Nini had just finished their first song of the play when the bell went and from the seat next to me, E.J shot up.

"Yes! Yes! WHOOO!" Then he looked around at all of us with our eyebrows furrowed and responded "sorry I just really love thanksgiving"

I couldn't say the same, so I didn't, I stayed a mute and watched as the others began to pack up around me.

"Okay. Hold on. I know everyone is excited for the holiday break-" Miss. Jenn then started to talk about practicing and stuff but I zoned into Ricky who had gotten awfully close to Nini again.

"I thought we sounded okay" Ricky smiled towards her and I tried my absolute hardest not to grind my teeth.

"Yeah we're kinda killing it" Nini smiled back equally as happy and I dug my nails into my palms to stop myself from getting more angry.

It wasn't fair, he couldn't just pick me up and put me down whenever Gina and Nini weren't paying him attention.

I hadn't been paying attention to anything really, the class had started to disburse and yet for some reason I was still stood in the centre of the drama room staring out as Ricky jumped straight from Nini to Gina without a second glance my way.

"Lennon!" Called Ashlyn, truthfully we barely spoke which I felt guilty for because our piano teacher always spoke fondly of her.

"Party at Ashlyns after thanksgiving tomorrow, everyone's invited" Carlos shouted and I looked at him blankly as the rest of the others began to hoot.

"And there goes the element of surprise, I was going to personally ask you to join us" Ashlyn said jokingly giving Carlos a side eye and in apology he raised both his hands.

"You wouldn't want me there" I chuckled rubbing my hands over my arms and flashing a look towards Ricky, he gave me a weak smile and then looked away.

"Sure we would!" Big Red smiled pulling me into him with an arm link and I look at it in confusion and then back up at him to ask when the fuck we got close enough to be able to touch.

"After all I think Mr. Flirt over there wants you to come" Ashlyn laughed looking over my shoulder, I turned hopefully waiting to see Ricky but instead I watched as E.J scratched the back of his neck awkwardly.

"I don't really have thanksgiving anyway, my family aren't..." I tried to pick my words carefully and ended up looking to Big Red for support.

"Here?" He answered.

"Sure" I responded "I don't really celebrate it so" I shrugged and Ashlyn giggled pulling me away from Big Red and shaking her head.

"All the more reason for you to join us, come early and I'll even make you a plate" she winked and I almost gasped at her niceness.

A blush spread upon my cheeks and so I tried to avert my eyes to my feet so that no one could see, and luckily no one did.

As I started to walk out, Ricky caught my arm and pulled me backwards he looked left and right almost to check that the coast was clear which made my mood significantly drop.

"Are you going?" He questioned "to Ashlyn's after thanksgiving?" He finished with a smile as his hand still lingered on my wrist and then slowly dropped to hold my hand.

Guilty I couldn't stop wondering if he did this with Gina and Nini too.

"I don't know, Ricky" I sighed running a hand through my hair "you know how thanksgiving usually goes"

And by that I meant it doesn't... go.

"I remember" Ricky whispered looking down at our hands "I won't forget our years of Thanksgiving meals, Lenny"

It was true, I was usually alone when it came to the holiday season and by then everyone was already too busy at the table to make room for me.

All except the Bowen's.

I think all in total I spent four thanksgivings with him and his family which thinking back to it made me feel nostalgic and a feeling of ungratefulness from my past overwhelmed me.

"Is it just going to be you and your dad this year?" I asked him and he sighed and I felt panicked that I'd just hit a nerve.

"Yeah" he paused and I half expected him to invite me round but instead he lets go of my hand "I'll see you at Ashlyn's" he smiles sadly before walking away.