New York State of Mind | zm au

Lights, Snowflakes and Central Park

Christmas is a time of families and just being loved by people. I haven't got any friends or family. I'm completely alone.

Central Park is quiet, everyone probably at home wrapped in blankets watching Charlie Brown's Christmas movie. I don't blame them. They have family.

My nose is cold and so are my fingers and toes. I glance to my right and see a bunch of people ice skating. Couples holding hands and children clinging on to their parents. And here I am, walking alone on Christmas.

I spot an empty bench and walk through the snow towards it. The snow crunches under my boots, each step keeps a rhythm going, like a drummer drumming a constant and steady beat.

The massive clock says it's eight twenty-eight. Zayn showed me the lights, and it feels like forever ago.

I retreat deep into my thoughts, thinking of what I could've done differently and if it would've made Zayn stay for the holidays. It could be days, weeks, or months before he comes back.

My eyes blink up to the trees and pathways of Central Park. One by one, the lights come on. Each one lights up the park even more than the one before it. The pure white light gets closer and closer to me until all trees at lit. The darkness has disappeared, consumed by the bright lights and the reflection bouncing off the un-disturbed fluffy snow.

This is what Christmas is. Taking away the darkness of life and replacing it with the homely feeling people get when they're around people they love. I wish I could say the same. I'm alone.

Or so I thought.

A forced cough makes me snap my head up. My toes, fingers, and nose don't feel cold anymore, because there he stands, a mere four feet away.

I don't know why he came back, how he found me, or why he decided to find me, but I don't care. All my thoughts are pushed away with a broom and dustpan and my gratefulness comes forward.

I don't know why I waited until this moment to forgive him. Maybe it's the moment. Or maybe it's because it's Christmas, and nobody wants to be alone on Christmas. He takes a step forward and I stand up immediately. No words are spoken, but I lessen the space and hug him. A true, genuine hug.

I step back and see what he brought with him.

He brought a present wrapped in red--suspiciously shaped like a guitar--and a sorry smile.

10/10

Happy Holidays from Marilynskirt.