JJBA x Reader Oneshots 🤪😳

Kira x Reader

You shed your last tear at your child's funeral, your 5th and last child had died. You blamed those vaccinated autistic kids for giving your kids autism and killing them. If only the world knew what you knew about vaccinations. No matter what doctor tells you about how vaccines could have saved your kids, you knew they were all liars. Essential oils is all you needed.

You were a single parent, well not anymore. You didn't know how to change your facebook bio to remove single parent from your bio, so you might as well find a new baby daddy.

As you were scrolling through facebook you saw a beautiful post about nail art that said live, laugh, love. How adorable! That phrase is just so inspiring, you knew your book club of wine moms would love it.

After getting your nails done and telling the workers they need to speak english in america, you went to go get lunch. On your way out you saw a man looking into the nail salon. You shuddered, boys can't like nail polish that makes them gay sinners (this is gonna be really weird if one of y'all is a dude oop).

You approached the man and told him off, but he just stared at your hands. "You keep looking at my hands! You got a problem?" You tell at him. He chuckles and shakes his head, "I just love the way your nails look on your pretty hands." He said.

What a flatterer! You scored big time this man will be the perfect baby daddy to your non vaccinated kids! You offered him some essential oils and y'all went to get lunch together.

After the two of you ate, he was about to leave before you stopped him. "What are you a simp? you bought me lunch and you're leaving? Alphas only buy food for woman if woman give the sex!" You shouted. Once again he chuckled and shook his head, before you knew it you were on the ground about to pass out.

"Thanks to you not being vaccinated, just slipping some dirt into your sandwich is killing you!" The last thing you saw was him sawing your hands off and leaving with them. Soon you would join your kids in heaven.

The End

just kidding you went to hell lol noob