JJBA x Reader Oneshots 🤪😳

Abacchio X Reader

You were a well known simp around the block. Everyone watched your sad attempts to get a date. You offered your targets so much in hopes of being able to one day squish a boob. To your dismay, everyone who you hit on took your stuff and left you behind. You have failed so many times that you were turning into an incel. You started blaming twitter, you started blaming black men, and you started blaming society for all of your problems.

Dispute how much of a woman hater you had become, you still wanted to squeeze boobies. Luckily your incel friends never said anything about chasing after men. You had a feeling they would object, so you decided not to tell them about your endeavor. While you had never had luck perusing men before, you hadn't spent much time doing it either. Maybe this time good luck would come around.

While on a walk during the night, you decided to look for your next target. You did not realize how suspicious you looked until you saw a cop walking towards you. You panicked, you were not ready to die until you smooshed some honkers. You booked it out of there, but the cop followed you. The chase lasted for awhile, you could not seem to shake him off. When you turned into an alleyway, you realized it was a dead end. Slowly, you turned around to face the cop.

He had his gun pointed to you and yelled at you, ordering you to drop any weapons and put your hands behind your head. You already knew you had that juicy ass on you, so you did as he said and dropped. Your sudden movement startled him and be shot you in your lower back. Due to him being so emo and pasty, he probably won't get in trouble for firing at you.

But as soon as he realized what he had done, he ran to your side to comfort you. "Oh no I'm so sorry baybe i'm so clumsy himbo cry" he said. "don't worry! I'll carry you to a hospital." He picked you up bridal style and ram with you to the hospital. As he ran, his giant, jaunty, jigglysacks were flopping about and smacking you in the face. You saw your chance and reached out for his babas, giving em a lil squeeze.

You had done it, you had completed your one goal in life. The wound in your back could take you out right now for all you cared, you had groped his moobs. You may have spoken too soon because your vision became blurry as soon as you claimed you were ready to die. It was not long before you were out cold.

You opened your eyes in a plain white room with two people standing over you. After your vision cleared up, you saw that it was a doctor and the big titty goth cop. The doctor announced your awakening with joy before going back to a serious time. You heard the doctor say that the bullet had permanently damaged your bladder and you would not be able to pee ever again.

The news devastated you, but the cop stepped in with a solution. "Do not worry my love, I shall pee for the both of us." The doctor started tearing up and the whole hospital started clapping for you. How romantic! First you squeeze his jugs and now he offers to pee for you? Life could not get any better.

Fast forward a few years later and the two of you are happily running a café together where you serve special teas ;) that you retired police officer big titty goth girl(boy)friend Abacchio makes. Life is good.