When Harry Met Tom ~ One Shot

WHEN HARRY MET TOM

Harry Potter looked at the diary that had been somehow slipped into his book basket. The Dursleys had taken away all his books and his wand, but he had luckily managed to hide this diary from them. The leather diary belonged to a T.M.Riddle, from what he could see from the encryption.

It looked weird but harmless enough.

Harry shrugged as he took out a pen.

Hello. I am Harry Potter.

He watched with curiosity as the words melted into the pages before some other words appeared.

Hello Harry Potter. I am Tom Marvolo Riddle. How did you come across my diary?

Harry immediately shut the book. The paranoia that had come from being sorted into Slytherin, now consuming him. He pushed the book aside, deciding to worry about that later and took out a random piece of paper and started doodling in it.

The name 'Tom Marvolo Riddle' had fascinated him, because somewhere along the way, he had started trying to make the name into an anagram. It then became a game of how many anagrams he could come up with.

Till now he had come up with five of them, consisting of Mild Dormat Lover, Mermaid Drool Volt, Do I Travel Lord Mom, Immortal Dove Lord and Lord Earldom Vomit. Each one he found to be as hilarious as the previous.

It was during his sixth anagram that he found out that the words 'Lord Voldemort' could also be derived from the name. The letters m, a and I were left out, but he quickly arranged it to form the phrase, 'I am Lord Voldemort'.

It seemed far fetched at first, before it suddenly made sense, and stuck him like lightning. And now that he had thought of such a possibility, he realised that he could feel faint traces of magic on the diary. He had also heard that Voldemort was in Slytherin fifty years or so ago while accidentally eavesdropping on one of the upper years conversation. Could it really be that he had found a diary belonging to mini dark lord?

Well, Harry smirked.

Summer just got a whole lot interesting.

When Harry opened the diary again, the words on the pages were clean dry. Professor McGonagall had let it slip once, that his father had been quite the prankster. Harry supposed that it was time to tune into his genes. After all, pranking was in his blood.

Hello Tom. Harry wrote in his chicken scrawl. Sorry I left you hanging there. My relatives called me.

That is alright, Harry.

How can you understand me? Are you sentinent?

I am a memory, preserved in a diary for fifty years.

Wow! So you're old, aren't you?

Yes... I suppose I am.

Great! So I was wondering if you could give me the Talk?

The diary did not respond for a few moments.

What? It finally said.

You see, I am a young boy on the verge of puberty and my Uncle wants nothing to do with me. Every boy in my year keeps talking about how they can't wait to grow a moustache when they hit puberty or how they can't wait to grow taller during puberty. Nobody has given me The Talk yet, so I was wondering if you would.

The diary stayed quiet again. I'm not sure I could do such a thing.

Well then. You are utterly useless aren't you? Harry wrote.

I am not useless. The diary replied immediately, and Harry knew that he had struck a chord. I am brilliant. I created this diary purely from my memories when I was a mere fifth year!

Than can you give me the talk? If you can't, I suppose I have to ask my Uncle. But he is a muggle, you see. I honestly thought that you, a wizard, could give it to me instead; just in case there are somethings that are different from the normal world.

The Diary stayed quiet for a minute before words stated to appear. You see, Harry Potter, there is a time when young boys transition into young men. This period is known as puberty. It is recognised in boys by signs of growth of height, a slightly deeper voice and hair appearing on... unusual parts of your body. Now-

What do you mean 'unusual', Tom? Harry wrote, smirking widely as he did.

Tom's diary stayed silent for a bit more before replying. Chest, armpits,...

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Good afternoon Tom! Harry wrote happily three days later.

Good afternoon, Harry. The Diary wrote back. Could you please tell me more about the wizarding world? After all, it has been fifty years... I would like to know how much it has changed.

I could... wrote Harry grinningly. But I'm in the muggle world now. If I write about the magic world, I feel nostalgia. Anyway, I found something called a 'Playboy' in the drawers of my Uncle's private study. Would you like to read it?

I don't think I could read it, Harry. But rather, why don't you write down the news of the Daily Prophet on one of my pages?

Silly Tom. I don't subscribe to the Daily Prophet, but my Uncle does subscribe to the Playboy. Writing down the news is actually a brilliant idea, and I'm sure you'd rather read the Playboy than the Prophet. If you are a memory of a fifth year, you are still a teenager. Politics are so very boring after all, but the very pretty girl on the front page is certainly not dull at all. So anyway, here I start. This is the issue of July 28. On the cover page is an image of a rather lovely girl in a cowboy hat and boots sitting on a horse in the desert wearing minimal clothing. The next page contains a picture of...

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Harry wrote to Tom's diary a lot during the summer. However, the minute he felt himself getting a bit tired after writing in it, he knew he had to stop. So he did. He tucked the diary away deep in his trunk and continued on with life.

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When Harry found a secret Chamber by accidentally speaking into an engraved snake in the second floor girls washroom (don't ask why he was in the washroom in the first place), he thought that it was the coolest thing on the planet.

He even made friends with a very polite basilisk that he named Snuffles because he personally thought that she was adorable.

Through Snuffles, he found out more about Dark Lord Jr. Snuffles begged to see Tom Riddle again, and damn him and his weakness to those big eyes that he had to avoid eye-contact with at all times. So, Harry pulled out Riddle's diary and set it down on the floor.

However Snuffles was so excited that she accidentally bit down on the diary and got an owie on her tooth. Poor Snuffles. Anyway, the diary (that he suspected was cursed in some way) expelled a weird black fog before the smoke disappeared.

There was a big hole in the diary now, and Harry was sure the diary was completely, throughly damaged.

Snuffles looked crushed realising that she had probably been the reason the diary of her old master's descendent could not talk anymore, but felt happy once again when Harry promised to bring her something called a 'sausage' to eat.

And that, everybody, is how Harry Potter accidentally converted the legendary Chamber of Secrets originally belonging to Salazar Slytherin into a guy cave/sanctuary, befriended a fifty foot basilisk and destroyed one of Voldemort's horcruxes (not that he knew, of course).

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I had originally written this one shot  to a prompt posted on Reddit. The page will be linked.