I Live At The North Pole

October 07, 2019

Good to see you all again.  I am currently typing this at a library and waiting for Mrs. Claus to finish baking her cookies. They sure are to die for. We're talking completely made from scratch. Even something simple like a sugar cookie she makes taste better than Pillsbury or Tollhouse and I fucking love Tollhouse so you know her baking is good. To be perfectly honest, I'd rather be eating the cookie dough. 

However, she told me that there wouldn't be enough left if she let me do that. Another thing to note is that I may have internet set up at the North Pole pretty soon. My idea was for us to build a tower. This has taken an ungodly long time due to the fact we can't exactly call people out here to do it for us. I had the idea years ago but it's been a pain in the ass trying to gather the right materials to do so with. Especially between missions.

What do I mean by missions? Well, I'll start with my second day of being in Krampus's castle. Despite his castle being who knows how old it actually had a decent setup. Most rooms had television and electrical outlets that he installed himself. I actually have a neat little set up in my room. 

This includes a decent sized flat screen that I have a PS4 hooked up to as well as my PC. I play games on them. Anyhow, my second day there began with hard knocking on the door. I checked my alarm and saw that it was five in the fucking morning. I don't sleep much but when I do I like to do it deeply. Groggy and still half asleep I opened my door to find a child-sized Elf. I kneeled down and said to him,

"Hey, little guy. I didn't know Krampus had kids running around this castle. What can I do for you?"

I was surprised to hear a deep voice coming from the elf.

"I'm not a kid, you fucking brat," he growled at me.

"What the fuck?!  thought you were a kid," I said, shocked.

"Little people still exist among Elves, boy."

"I'm sorry. I didn't know."

"Well know you do. Just get your ass moving. We got shit to do."

 "Like what?"

"Feeding the reindeer for starters. Their food is by the stable."

That elf is named Kurz Getränk. Needless to say, I felt like a dick after our first conversation. After it, I went outside to the stables where Krampus already was.

 "Hey, so I'm supposed to feed the reindeer," I told him.

"That's right. Kurz tell you that?"

"Is that the not as tall one's name?"

"Yup. Whatever you do, don't make any quips about his height. He's sensitive about that."

"It's a little late for that. I kind of mistook him for a kid."

"Ooh. That must've pissed him off. He'll forgive you with enough time though. Anyway, feeding time."

I scooped out some food from the sack resting by the stable. The food was a mixture of grains and oats. I poured them in separate baskets. Each basket was hanging in front of the reindeer for them to eat out of. There were also buckets for them to drink out of which were filled with piping hot water to keep it from freezing. Due to the cold weather, the reindeer eyed me suspiciously at first but then started eating and drinking.