"I was thinking something on the lighter side for the wall color," you said looking at the wall in thought. You and Noodle were remodeling your small home in London and things weren't going well.
Of course, you both loved each other, but right now things were rough and with each passing day, it was harder to overcome these petty fights that could begin with one small disagreement. Take now for example...
"If you had listened to me for once you'd know that light colors would clash with the cabinets that I'd chosen," she mumbled. You were getting annoyed. It was almost like everything you said she had to disagree with.
"Well, you could've just said that without lashing out at me, Noodle". The tone in your voice was getting louder. You wish you could just talk things out with her without having this happen, but that's near impossible it seems.
"I shouldn't have to repeat myself in the first place".
"Is there anything that I can do so you won't blow up at me or are you just trying to be a bitch?" Yikes. Now you knew that was definitely fucked up but at the moment your ego was too big to admit this to yourself.
"I'm the bitch?" She huffs. Tears pricking her eyes. You don't care. "If you would just listen to me!" Her voice cracks. You should care. "We wouldn't be fighting like this!"
She slams her fist on the table and puts her head in her hands.
You really should care... but you don't. You simply walk out of the house into the street without a word or second glance. You should care.
•Noodle's POV•
Why would she leave? Does she even love me anymore? I thought we were supposed to be together through thick and thin. I maniacally laugh. That's rich. I throw a glass against the old cabinet, watching it shatter. Maybe I did it just so I could see my emotions displayed in front of me. Maybe I did it because I know this relationship is dying. I don't want it to die.. do I?
•Regular POV•
You didn't want to go back to the house that night. It's best you didn't. You wouldn't like to see the mess she made. You wouldn't like to see the emotional state she's in. Though it was easy to predict considering how you were feeling right now.
You check in a room at a little hotel about 10 minutes away from your home. You blankly stare at the tv in front of you. Hours pass without a thought in your head. You wait for the phone in your pocket to ring. It doesn't. Even if it was yelling you'd love to hear her. To see her. You aren't sad though. Not angry; just numb.
You've listened to friends tell tales after they ended things with their significant others. How there was no emotion.
You hate feeling like this. You hate it because you know it's the end. You've been to counseling every Tuesday and Sunday. You've tried new things to maybe keep that dying spark aflame. It was no use.
Well.. there is one emotion; Confusion. When you listened to your friends, the only reason they felt like that was because they fell out of love, but you still loved her. How could you not? Years of listening to her voice, hearing the heartbreaking stories of her childhood, picking up on her humorous habits, and the moments of relief after fighting, when everything would be ok. That wasn't erased from your memory. In fact, every time you'd fight those memories would vividly play over and over again in your head.
So why do you feel like this?
Oh. That's why.
—————
You head home. This was your last try. It was the only thing you could think of.
You walk up to the front door and knock. She answers quickly, almost like she knew you'd be home any moment.
Both of you are calm. It's seemingly different.
"Noodle I don't think you handle stressful situations well".
"What"?
"I think you're bad at saying what you feel directly".
"Are you just trying to argue with me, (Y/N)".
"We have flaws." You say shakily afraid this plan might not work. "We haven't accepted them". Your voice breaks mid sentence as your throat tightens.
Her face softens. "What are you talking about"?
"That's why we fight; we suck at accepting each other's flaws"!
"I mean I guess those arent my strong points... But you aren't perfect either"!
"I know. I'm a bad listener, I suck at following instructions, I don't consider what you say with care. Noodle the list goes on... But I think if we talk about them... If we talk through this", You look up with hopeful eyes, "I think we could make it".
It takes a moment for her to respond. It felt like hours. Your hands started to shake and you started getting cold sweats. You're on the verge of breaking down and you're holding your breath. It's do or die.
"I..Really?" She asks with a bit of a laugh in her tone. She thinks it's stupid, or so you thought. She starts full-on cackling! Your face heats up and your cheeks turn red from both anger and embarrassment. It's over.
You start to yell. "Ok Noodle, I just.." you're cut off when her lips hit yours. There it is. That flame is ignited. It's burning brighter than it initially did. Why it burned so harshly now? You don't know. Did you care? No, not in the slightest.
You were holding onto her. Both of you crying at this point, but laughing as well. Waves of emotion crashing down. It was clear why you were initially fighting. You were unable to accept each other's flaws. You were both so obsessed with the idea that the other was perfect that when something unexpected showed up you didn't know how to react.
You, somewhat forcefully pushed her back inside the house onto the couch. You on top of her. In her presence; it was magical.
You both talked for hours about things you wish you would've done differently. About how you'll do things differently in the future. You decided to see each other as real people instead of flawless.
Things are better that way.
Wow. I'm very VERY happy with this chapter. One of my best I think. Anyway, thank you for reading. If you have any ideas DM me or write it in the comments. It makes writing a whole lot easier. Remember to vote. Love y'all!
