Falling Back Together

*3*

⚠⚠warning⚠⚠
There is mention of self harm, if it triggers you or you are not comfortable kindly skip the chapter. There is angst, mention of homosexuality, cheating in relationship and more so.
Kindly ignore if you are not comfortable
You have been warned!
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Jungkook already had a long day. Being last day before the winter break starts it was really stressful. Most of employees took week or two off and there were not as much work either, the few that were staying could handle the work but yeah these three weeks were going to be super lame. His family were crazy rich and the chairman, his father himself seldom worked during this time. But Jungkook being CEO has a lot to sign, a lot to attend and barely any sleep. Even now that it is almost 2 am he still has this new paperwork, his employee handed way before the given time, to check before signing. He can't just sign things offnow, can he? He could not even see his parents off. They went to Paris for winter break and was not gonna be back anytime soon. He puts his pen down, a little break won't hurt now, would it? He takes off his glasses, pushes his head back into the chair and rubs his eyes. Heck late night work sure puts a lot of strain on his eyes. This paperwork is almost done but he decides on sleeping in the office anyways. He just started few months ago at this post and this won't be the first time he is sleeping in office. His stomach growls, he ate nothing since breakfast. He had no time since he was in meeting during lunch break. He checks time again and its 3 minutes past 2 am. Even if he orders it will sure be half an hour for it to reach and he has to get up early, he should just sleep rather than waiting for food, he thinks. He starts back at his work when his phone buzzes, Min Yoongi it reads. Jungkook quickly picks up, did something happen?

"Hello, hyung?" He says in phone.

"Why are you not sleeping? You little brat!" Yoongi seemed like he is yelling from other end.

"You are not asleep either" Jungkook states, his mouth forming a small smile. The only genuine one he had in days.

"I called before but your secretary answered" Yoongi explains,"when you did not call back, I knew you must be busy. But somehow I had this feeling... You overworking yourself again?" the concern evident in his voice.

His concern warmed Jungkook. "Its just the last day before holidays hyung. I m fine you don't have to worry" he says, despite being tired he feels happy listening to his hyung.

"Is he still up?" comes another voice from other end. 

"Hello? Jungkook? You still there?" Jimin almost screems and Jungkook chuckles lightly at the excited voice of his smaller hyung. Jimin was not as tall as Jungkook and he took full advantage of it. From teasing him to using his head as handrest.

"Yes hyung. I m still here" he replies.

"Its on speaker now you can talk to both of us"Jimin informs Jungkook. "Why are you still up?"Jimin asks him too.

"I m just finishing this paperwork and I'm almost done. I'll sleep soon"Jungkook tries to sound assuring but sleep seldom comes peacefully anymore

"Did You even eat something?" Yoongi asks.

Jungkook does not want to tell him that actually he has not eaten anything since breakfast. But he has never been able to lie to his Yoongi hyung.

"You have not" Yoongi states pointedly. He can tell that even if he sounds angry he must look like he is disappointed in Jungkook. Well Jungkook is not so proud of himself either. "Yaah Jungkook-ah, why are you being so? How long has it been already, huh?" Yoongi says, his voice laced with concern.

"Hyung its not that... I was just busy" Jungkook tries to explain. But why does it feel like he is telling it to himself.

"Then why are you still in that office?" Yoongi asks taking Jungkook off guard. He certainly did not tell him where he is. "Don't look dumbfounded I just know you well. Rather than me asking you why ask it yourself. How many times have you slept in the office rather than going to your apartment?" Yoongi raises his voice slightly.

Jungkook could not even deny it. He really despised the idea of going back to his empty apartment. He'd rather stay here where he has enough to occupy his mind than going back to that lonesome space. Its just not same anymore. The empty bed gives him nightmares, there are times he sleeps on couch. He barely eats there. Going back there means going back to that lonely and empty feeling.

"Hyung, did you really called at this hour to scold me?" Jungkook tries not to sound frustrated but he is angry at himself, to let himself miss it all. He did nothing to deserve it, did he now?

"Kook we are getting married!"Jimin exclaimed from other end. Jungkook could not be enough thankful to Jimin for changing the subject.

"Finally!"Jungkook exclaimed. He thought Yoongi hyung would never have the guts to do so, but who is he to judge. "Hyung you finally had the guts to do so, huh" he teased Yoongi.

"You Brat!" Yoongi said but Jungkook could tell he was not offended. "Come over for Christmas. I need  you to be here and be my best man" Jungkook was stun for a second. Its so Yoongi to tell such a thing over phone.

"I thought you was still sour over me asking Namjoon hyung to be my..." Jungkook stops mid sentence. He did not need to be reminded of that day. He still wonders where it went wrong? A tear rolls down his cheek. He does not want to let this evident, he can't ruin there moment. "Hyung, I can't come for the Christmas though. Just send me the wedding schedule I ll be there a week before to help you prepare" Jungkook says. He does not want to go back to seoul and especially not for Christmas at least.

"Kook, think of it as my gift. I don't want you to stay alone for Christmas" Yoongi pleads. Its rare to hear Yoongi plead and Jungkook feels bad.

"Hyung I can't" Jungkook says in small voice. He has been holding this in for days now. Wherever he went for past few days, he just could not take his eyes off the small houses decorated for Christmas, couples out shopping, smiling. He just wanted to stay shut in his apartment but that just made it worst. His hand unconsciously clutches at the ring he wore around his neck.

"Kook, don't close yourself like that. We are there for you. I know even Mr. and Mrs. Jeon are out of country. Just come over, please!" Jimin says in small. Jungkook can literally imagine Jimin pouting and his face falling like a lost puppy. He does not want to ruin his mood, he knows Jimin still feels guilty.

"I will come hyung, don 't be sad now ohk?" Jungkook says and sighs.

"Is that a promise?" Jimin asks again.

"Yes"Jungkook smiles at the sudden excitement laced into his hyung's voice4 , he can see in his head Jimin's face lighting up. There sure is something about his tiny hyung. Maybe he should see them. He at least has few people who are still the same.

They talk for few more minutes before hanging up. Jungkook looks at the ring still clutched tight in his hand. He tried many times to take it off but he just could not. Shit! He could not even take that person out of his head. But that person just moved on... did he mean nothing to him?  But how could he expect anyone else to value him when his own parents just cast him off? He wants to cry but its all his fault. What right does he have to cry either? If only he had courage he would not be here. Only if he could be less ambitious, if only he could give more time. No one would have tolerated their husband not accepting them socially, going to meet girls cause his parents could not accept his sexuality. But he tried his best. If he did not want him he could just say so. Why cheat? Why go behind his back? Why make him see that? Just why?

Jungkook's breath got heavier. He needs to get away. This pain is too much. He rumbles around to find the thing he needs. He needs to. He knows its not right but it used to help before. He takes out the sharp blade and hurriedly folds his sleeves upto elbow. There are few faded marks. He had not done it in while, he had no time to think about anything but today he just needs it. The blade soon touches his skin and hot red stream oozes out of his skin. The pain taking over him. He breathes sharply before making another cut and then many other ones. He does not stop until it hurts as if someone ripped his hand away from his body. He can't stop crying. With every cut he can still feels the hands that used to help him. With every cut he can still feel the lips that once kissed his every scar. His head hurts and before he could even clean his wounds he passes out, the paperwork getting soaked into his blood. But he does not notice that his phone has been buzzing.

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Thank you for reading this far guys.
I m new at these things so if you notice or want any corrections please let me know.
I purple You guys.