Really Broken? (Adam Lambert)

I'm so sorry / It's gonna be okay

"yeah?" I ask with a cracky voice.

"What's that red spot on the blanket Kae?" Holy shit what i'm I gonna say?

"Ummm I.... I didn't saw it I think it's blood." I innocently said trying to sound as if I didn't know what it was.

"Period blood?" Javi says coming in the bathroom and getting close to the sink were Adam was

"Kiara that doesn't look like period blood honey" Adam interrupted what Javi was saying. "What happened sweetheart?"

" It's nothing I swear I just started bleeding, everything can happen when you are on your period guys..." I headed my body towards the wall leaning my head on the bathtub and grabbing the blanket on my arm covering my bleeding arm and wrist. I gave my back to them so I wouldn't have to do eye contact with them or be awkward trying to avoid their looks so I just turned away and avoid them... like I do with all of my problems... avoid them.

"Baby what happened here? There's definitely a BIG blood stain on the blanket..." damn does he keep forgetting? before he could finish I interrupted him still facing towards the wall

"ADAM STOP CALLING ME BABY I CAN'T STAND THAT WORD, HE SAID THAT WORD TOO MANY TIMES, HE SAID THAT WORD WHILE HE SAID HE WOULDN'T HURT ME...."

I started sobbing loudly not caring that they will hear and see the weak side of me, I slide my hand and head through the wall... I started sliding them till i was totally leaning on the bathtub. Javi and Adam would say stuff but I couldn't concentrate on their words I just concentrate on my mind trying to control all the pain and trying to stop the thoughts on getting my razor blade in front of them and just made a couple of cuts but i couldn't fail them i couldn't, Adam taught me to not give up even though life treats you like shit, like mine... It didn't feel like life anymore if felt like a prison cell full of hate and darkness. I was still in that prison cell when Adam got into my life, I heard at first Feel Something by him and it reflected that i wanted to feel something, anything, not necessarily love from my mom and my "stepdad". I don't and would never consider him my dad or even a stepdad... he did terrible things i will never forget. Adam teached me to keep going to matter what, many songs teached me to not give up on life. The way Adam sings each of his songs is incredible, his expressions, how he feels the song, it really impresses me.

"Honey I'm so sorry please I'm sorry why are you hysterical"  Adam says walking towards me... I could hear his steps....

"Kae what happened, why are you always hysterical when we say that word, Kae we are gonna help you but we need to know what is happening and we are definitely gonna talk about that huge blood stain on the blanket...."

"Kiara.... please give me the blanket i'm gonna wash it or the stain won't come off honey. I'm gonna go put it in the washing machine and I'm gonna come back in a bit". Javi says while he walks towards me to grab the blanket "Kae I need it please give it." I refuse to give it to him because the blanket was covering the other huge stain on my sleeve and that wouldn't be a good excuse for my period... I couldn't give him the blanket but I knew that if i didn't gave it the blood would dry and I will ruin the blanket... I had to give it back.

"Guys I can't..." I weakly say and that makes Javi sit on the other edge of the bathtub because he couldn't grab the blanket since I was facing towards the wall....

"Why you can't honey? What's the matter? please tell us..."

Fuck I couldn't lie or fail to my idol, the person who saved me, the person who saved me from the streets, my "family" or either I cant fail to Javi, he is such a great person and he is so sweet, he always cheered me up with his words on every instagram post he made.... I had to give him the blanket I couldn't fail them... not anymore.