ALL MY LOVE - HYEWON

Gowon 1

Dear Hyejoo,

I remember the life I had in Guam. The warm sunlight on my skin, I think life was pretty good. These days I've been sitting around and thinking a lot, I really miss those days. Then again, I hated school. I hated how people shouted out me for looking different, and calling me names. I didn't mind though, as long as my mom and dad were smiling. I thought nothing could go wrong. 

2007, February 4th.

I was packing my things and moving off to South Korea. I didn't know why at the time, all I knew is I had to say goodbye to the place I called home, and say hello to mister sunshine, mister fast cars, mister city lights.

I wanted to know why, why I had to feel incomplete, every second of my week.

Why I had to have three jobs, just to stay on my feet.

Why I had to enlist in the army, before I could even speak.

Why my mom had to be diagnosed with something. 

She couldn't beat cancer.

Honestly, It felt like death.

But she was facing death, so I was confused. I remember asking myself, where do when we die?

Hell, Heaven, do we enter a void? Space? Reincarnation?

Where do we go?

Too many questions, with no answers.

Now fast forward 5 years.

Millionaire teen fashion icon, and the manager of my own makeup label. 

I guess a lot has happened since then, but here I am asking myself the same questions.

I still have you though, no matter what happens I believe I'll always have you.

Sincerely,  Chaewon.

I folded up the piece of paper, and scuffled through my third drawer to find an envelope. 

My eyes scanned the various colors of envelopes in the drawers. 

I looked up at Myungdae, my assistant and very useless body guard. considering he was 5'7, and weighed about 170 pounds. I could only hope that their would never be any situation where I would actually need him to protect me.

"Myungdae what day is it?"

He fumbled to find his glasses, dropping papers and pens everywhere.

"It's Sunday, but it'll get to her by Tuesday.. Which means you would use green."

I nodded, "Okay, thanks." I moved the blue and purple envelopes out of the way in order to get to green.

I picked up a green envelope and licked the top, before folding the paper in half and slipping it into the envelope.

"Myungdae, hand me a blue pen." He quickly tossed me a blue calligraphy pen, and I wrote down Hyejoo's address, and the date.

"Myungdae, I have an errand for you." I said, holding the envelope in between my index finger and thumb.

Myungdae sighed, and began to speak in a sarcastic tone, "Yeah, Yeah, I'll go drop it off to the post office." He stood up, and took the envelope before scurrying out of the room.

I laid my head on the back of my chair, and stared up at the ceiling.

I heard the TV, but thought of it as nothing but background noise.

Olivia Hye is still out on the district, I advise everyone to stay safe inside their homes. The SPD is doing everything in their power to capture the escaped felon. If you see anyone that...

Blah, Blah, Blah.

I rolled my eyes at the boring news reporter.. Olivia? Must be some foreigner that wrecked havoc, she had been on the news for weeks.

I shut off the TV, and left the office and grabbed a sharpie marker from Myungdae's office. I then began to write on my board.

554.

The letter that I just wrote will be the 554th letter I've sent to Hyejoo.

I don't actually have friends outside of work, which I know is important. The closest thing I have to a friend is Myungdae. 

Hyejoo is the closest thing to me, and I don't even know what she looks like. I've spent so much money on her, and she doesn't even know it. The amount of envelopes, pens and paper i've bought over the years. It doesn't matter, I have more money than I need.

I sat the sharpie on the table, and grabbed my jacket and headed to the gym.

Feel it in your heart, and let those feelings curve. Let it curve and emerge into the universe. Don't let them disperse.