Wrapped in troubles

Denial

No response from you. Instead I get a response from her, defending you calling me names. Did I ever do that to you? I never did. I sat there and took it. Every day I just took it but once I started to speak or lifted one finger, you just shut me out. I screamed and told you to listen but everything was ineffective. You just stared at me with that tired, blank face and shut me out. I cried for you with all the pain stored inside me. All those tears stung my skin because only they could express and feel what I felt. They stung because they knew I could only release them. I couldn't do anything else. I cut myself open to let some of those feelings out. Everything I did made me numb because there wasn't anything else I could do. All those failed attempts just feasted on my emotions, taunting me..."try again...try again".
"No... right? You still feel the same. I know you do! B-but...why are you acting like this?" I gave it my all yet it wasn't enough. Is nothing enough for you?! It's easy for you to close the door on something that meant the world to me. I know you want to open it fully again but something keeps on pressuring you to board it up. Every now and then you dismantle that barricade you've made around it. I know you still care. I'm not lying... it's not in my head! I hear the faint creak of the door opening just a bit. I rush towards it and try to rush inside but you hold out your hand as a halt. We talk for a while, the door opens up more and more wider with every word. Suddenly...it just stops and quickly shuts. "Please let me in again! I promise I'll be good!" There's just silence, I hear your muffled voice from behind the door, "I don't-- just l-..."