Absolution

Trial

"The blood, guts and gore flashed before my eyes as I remembered all the horrors I've witness, these past few years of being with James. From murders, kidnappings, and countless robberies. I still question my sanity to this day. From the start of our toxic relationship, I was well knowledged on what to expect from dating a man in this line of work. I was expected to be under the control of James. He told me what to do, when to do it, and how to do it. I've even gone as far as helping him and his crew out with certain "jobs". I've known James since I was 12 and he was 16. My parents were well strung out on various narcotics, so you could understand why I turned to the love of James and his crew and why I would do absolutely any and everything to help him. But all that love came crashing down last week, when one of his boys tipped a cop and the entire empire came down in shambles. Bruce, the "leader" of the group, fled to Mexico and suggested the boys do the same. Unfortunately, that didn't go as planned. A few of the boys were found and arrested at O'Hare airport, James included. My entire way of life was shot down in one simple night. Everything I knew. It was like the air from my lungs was sucked out and dragged away with Bruce. After countless visits with James and his crew, it was pretty clear what it was expected of me to do, and of course I was obliged to help the boys. So now you can see why I'm in this predicament I'm in."

The officer dragged my short stature into the courtroom and in front of the judge. My eyes immediately trailed to Sean in the front row. I couldn't stand to look in his pained eyes as we all awaited what my future held. The judge looked over the paperwork through his large glasses.

I closed my eyes and imagined myself back in James arms laughing about nothing at all. I couldn't help but smile at all our memories. The entire outside world seemed to be a blur. I opened my eyes and let the tears roll down my face. The judge looked down at me in sympathy, as if he knew I shouldn't be the one in this position.

He cleared his throat before adjusting his glasses. "In the case of 19 year old Diana Jones, charged for conspiracy to murder. I sentence you to 6 months of community service within the Holy Name Cathedral, Catholic church under the rule of Jeremy Bieber.Court adjourned" He hammered his gavel as I let out a breath I didn't realize I held in.

After changing out of the hideous orange jump suit, I got into the car with Sean, avoiding his eyes. I leaned back into my seat and looked out the window as he continued to glare at me.

"So," he started. "See what happens when you hang with those people." He sighs starting his car up.

"Look Sean, I appreciate you being here for me and all," I spoke putting my hair behind my ear.
"But James is the love of my life, I can't let him rot in prison." I said sniffing holding back my tears. He sighed shaking his head and biting his lip pulling over at my apartment. He pursed his lips and looked over at me,

"Get some rest, I'll be over at 9 to take you to the cathedral in the morning." I nodded, bit my lip and gave him a tight smile.

"Thanks, Sean. See you in the morning." I nodded and headed up to my building.

"Yeah girl, you know I had to drop Tyrone's broke ass. I can't be raising no grown man." I rolled my eyes the secretary at the front desk while getting my mail. She scoffed looking at me.

"Hold on girl, imma have to call you back." She smacked her gum and ended the call. "Um I don't like the way you was rollin' your buck ass eyes at me honey." She rolled her neck and tilted her head at me. I let out a little laugh and sighed walking over to her.

"Hey Tasha, did anyone come by to see me?" I asked ignoring her statement. A part of me was wondering if James had stopped by to see me, since he wasn't in court to see me. She smirked and went back to chewing her gum.

"Nuh uh, that little big headed boy aint come to see you baby girl." She scoffed picking up her Sister 2 Sister magazine. "I can't stand that little boy and his wannabe grown men friends, I don't know how you do it." She shook her head while looking down at me in pity. I scoffed and tightened my fist. I'm so tired of everyone judging James. They simply don't understand our love.

"Look, you have no right to judge us when you've been messing around with a married ass man who comes as he goes." I snatched the rest of my mail from her desk as she stared at me with wide eyes.

"You're the last person I'd ever take advice from." I held back my tears while stomping up the stairs.

"Yella heffa!" She screamed after me. I had been knowing Tasha since I was moved here by James. She is the closest thing to an older sister I have. I sniffed back my tears and opened my door slamming the door shut behind me. I sighed leaning back on the door. I stared into space as my world came crashing down once again.

I just thought of all I've been through, everything I've seen over these past few years. All the times I covered up for James and his crew. I took the fucking wrap for them! And they can't even come to court and see me. I slid to my down the door pulling my knees to my chest. I'm tired of being judged, I'm tired of crying, I'm tired of being hurt. I'm just tired! I jumped to my feet and shoved the things off my dresser.

I threw everything in sight against the wall. It was clear to me that I quickly regretted my decision for covering up for James and his crew. Now I'm the one who has to deal with a criminal record and community service. I sat in a corner of my room for the rest of the night. How could I be so damn stupid? He couldn't even thank me. I laughed sarcastically and shook my head. "I'm so stupid." As soon as I laid back on the bed, I was out.

Next Morning

"Diana, get up girl." I felt someone shaking me awake. I groaned and turned over kicking whoever interrupted my sleep.

"Go away." I said before pulling the covers over my face. Sean snatched the covers from my body and laughed.

"Come on, I gotta drop you off at this church." He looked around my room frowning. "What the hell happened here?" I groaned and sat up running my fingers through my hair.

"Nothing." I grumbled before getting up and going into the bathroom and started my daily routine. After freshening up, I stepped out the bathroom and saw Sean looking through the paperwork from the judge. I slipped on my boots and sat beside him.

"Yo this damn church too far." He shook his head and smacked his lips.

"The judge should've gave you some damn gas money." I smiled and shook my head while dragging him downstairs and out the lobby.

"Oh shut up, you always complaining." He smiled at me while opening the passenger door for me. "Hey, I just don't want my baby traveling that far, ya feel?" He said while caressing the hood of his 2014 Honda Civic.

"Yeah yeah whatever." I said pulling my jacket close to me feeling the September breeze hit me. I wondered how this community service thing would go. I mean its better than jail, but I've never even heard of Holy Name Cathedral church let alone been to one. I bit my lip while looking through my phone.

No missed calls

I havent spoken to James since the time he asked me to cover for him. I quickly shook the thoughts out of my head and sat back against the seat as Sean pulled into the parking lot of the church. Lets see how this goes.