𝐎𝐔𝐈, 𝐂'𝐄𝐒𝐓 𝐌𝐎𝐈 | timothée chalamet imagines

𝙤𝙨𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙨 𝙞𝙞

DISAPPOINT
1. to fail to fulfill the expectations or wishes
2. to defeat the fulfillment of (hopes, plans, etc.); thwart; frustrate

A/N:
on the lyrics of the music, when they says 'I've really fucked it up this time, did I not my dear?' it's LITERALLY what she did, she fucked it all up :/

It had passed 2 years since I won the Oscar for actress on leading role, since I saw the man I loved, since he broke my heart just like I did to him. He never showed up, never called, never looked for me, for him, the fact that was alive or not, was simply irrelevant. That night, back at the Oscars, when I asked the young women to deliver the note to Timothée, he didn't even bothered to warn he wasn't going to turn up, I waited 2 hours, 2 painful hours in the damn cafe, 2 hours with hope that we was just late, like he used to, but no, he wasn't, he just simply didn't come, he just simply didn't care enough to come.

Even tho, I still remember the first time we met. Timothée was my brother's best friend therefore, I was used to see him a lot, but I guess I never thought about him in a romantic way, only as my brother's best friend, until on my sophomore year (consequently his senior year) he started looking at me in a different way, turns out we started dating. As he is 2 years older than me, when I passed to the 11th grade he was already in college so we spent less time together, but, somehow, we managed to got time to see each other.

I frequented the same college and, consequently, we took the same course – representation. When I finish college, he applied for the movie 'call me by your name' and once he got a yes as an answer he asked me if I wanted to move to Italy, with him. Italy was my dream country and Timmy was my dream boy, joining the useful to the pleasant, obviously I said yes.

Our relationship was really healthy and comfortable, until the shots begun. I was a really jealous person and, I didn't mind seeing Timothée kissing Armie, the problem was seeing him kissing Esther, fucking Esther and the lightest touch or gaze they'd share I would get angry, stressed, disgusted, wanting to end everything, and Timothée would always say that nothing was going on, that they were just 2 actors doing their jobs, that he didn't feel anything for Esther but respect, however my jealousy was still on fire and I know, I should know how to control it, because I'm an actress and he's my boyfriend, my Timmy, the person I trusted the most in the world, who ensured me that nothing was happening between them, but I just couldn't believe, and the jealousy I felt, made me do horrible things, things that I'm ashamed for the rest of my life.

I always liked to have the spotlight, not just in the movies but as well on real life, until one day an idea popped in my head. I thought whether I should do it or not for weeks, and, unfortunately I decided I should perform my crazy thought – a fake illness.

Timmy was always very emotional and he always acted by the heart and not for the reason like me, so I was expecting him to pay me more attention, but clearly I didn't think it right.