Fix me // c.d. (Sequel to Shatter me)

1 - begin again

* Cameron's POV *

As we drive through the city, trying to make it to the suburbs, of Los Angeles California, I lay my head on the edge of my open window. My mind is racing with thoughts. I'm nervous and excited and so many other things. Finally, I get to see her again. It's been two days since the call, meaning its only been about five days away from her. It feels like an eternity. The baby is due so soon. About one and a half weeks.

Nash said that we would have a visitor coming from the other side of the states. I figure he means Hayes. Who else could it be?

"You nervous?" Matt's voice breaks the silence and my thoughts. We drive past an extremely tall building and I can't help but open my mouth and look up at it like a child.

"You have no idea." I confirm, pulling my head back in the car.

"I'm sure it'll all be fine." He assures me. Silence ensues once again. I fiddle my thumbs and play with my fingers. My hands rest in my lap. I start to pick at my nails. It's a bad habit I've been picking up. I truly need to break it.

"I can't wait to see Hayes." I say. Matt's face contorts to confusion and he looks at me as we stop at a red light.

"When is Hayes gonna be here?" He asks, truly confused.

"I thought today. Nash told me we had a visitor from the other side of the states. Who else would it be?" I say. Matt's mouth forms into an 'o' shape. The light changes and we start to move again.

"Oh, yeah. That's not Hayes bro. I'd better not tell you who it is. It's better a surprise." He says. I stay silent. We're getting closer to home now. I'm getting more and more anxious every minute.

Oh, Alia. How I miss you so.

I get lost in the music playing from the radio as we finally get out of the traffic.

Suddenly we arrive at the house. I smile and run up to door. I breathe heavily before raising my hand to knock on the door. Before I can knock the door opens. I'm lifted off the ground into a bone crushing hug. I'm spun around and can't stop laughing.

"Nash! Put me down so I can see you!" I chuckle. He puts me down and I look at him. His hair has gotten long and the same goofy smile is spread across his face. I wrap him in a hug once again. "Cut your hair."

"Never!" He laughs. We release the hug. "Go upstairs! Alia and the guest are there!" He exclaims. I nod and run upstairs. I open my bedroom door with a smile on my face. I'm about to yell 'I'm home!' But I stop and stare at the sight before me. I want to cry. It's all crashing down now. I thought I was better. This is my karma.

In front of me, on the bed, is Alia and Taylor making out.

-

"AHHHH!" I jolt up out of the bed and in rushes Matt quickly.

"What's wrong?" He almost yells. I breathe heavily for a few moments and my heart sinks.

"Nothing, it was just a dream." I sigh. I lay my head in my hands and then run my fingers through my hair.

"You seem sad about it. Why would you scream and then be sad it's over?" He inquires.

"Don't you see? As of right now, the real world isn't any better than dreams. The dreams keep getting worse. Every night I see something horrible. Tonight it was Taylor and Alia, making out. She didn't even look pregnant anymore! I can't let that happen. I know she said she needed more time before I come home but I can't stand this anymore! I'm going insane! Every thought I have yells at me that I messed up what I did, even if it's just asking for a drink! I'm sinking down. I'm done. I can't think. I can't go anywhere. I can't speak. I can't breathe. I'm afraid of blowin' it. I'm afraid. I'm sinking into this sea of guilt and anger and fear and anxiety and depression! The same sea I once saved her from! I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like giving up. Throwing in the towel. I don't want to. But I sometimes feel like doing the thing i told her so many times not to do. Without her, what's left to love? Nothing. That's what. I'm giving up. I'm not going to try. I won't get out of bed, I won't eat, I won't speak, because I can't do it anymore!" I scream. The sobs rack my body as I'm sitting here. Matt remains silent. He stands there. I hear him sniff every once in awhile which means he's crying as well.

What have I done?

"You listen to me know," he says suddenly. I lift up my head. "It's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. But if you give up, I give up. My only project right now is to keep you safe and healthy and alive. I know it's too hard to keep you happy, I'm not trying. Just know that if you give up, you will never see your child or your girlfriend. You will lose everything! So don't you give up on me..." He pauses. "Just don't."

* Alia's POV *

I've given up without him. I'm slowly tearing again. Please, help me Cameron! The only things I have left are the baby inside me and Nash. I've given up. And I don't know how not to.

"You're not alone." Suddenly Nash states. He stands, shirtless in the doorway. I must've been saying my thoughts. "He's given up too, but worse." And with that he leaves. He leaves me longing for Cameron. Longing for more information.

What does he mean, Cam's given up worse?

-------------------------------------------

a/n: SECOND BOOK!

If you haven't read the first one then go to my account and read 'Shatter me (Cameron dallas)!

I'm so excited with what I have planned for this book!

Sad begginginf but I'm proud of it bc I wrote most of it in one night omg yay

Okay!

Thanks guys!

Ily readers!

Bye!