For the love of cosplay

Telling them the truth

"Ok I will text them to say that we are on our way down that way they can pick a spot for us to talk." Hannah said as she pulled her phone out to text them. We got to the elevator just as Hannah got a from them saying that they were waiting by the convention entrance. As we stepped in the elevator an pressed the lobby button and went down to the lobby. 

We got to the lobby and started to walk to the entrance. When we got closer to the entrance Amanda, Liz, Nikki and Rachel came into view. I saw them and started to panic "I can not do this hannah. This is a very bad idea." I said to Hannah as I started turning around to walk away back the the elevator. "Oh no you don't you will tell them." She said to me while holding my arm. "Hannah I am stronger than you will not be able to pull me over to them. I am going back to the room." I said. "Amanda Rachel I need your help I am not strong enough to stop her from leaving." Hannah called out the group. 

"No do not call them over here." I said to Hannah as I dragged her away from the entrance of the convention. I turned back to see if I could try to get Hannah's hand off of my arm that is when I saw Amanda, Rachel, Liz and Nikki all coming closer to us. 'Oh no' I thought as I start struggling more to get Hannah off of me that way I could go back to our room. "Hang on I got her." Amanda said picking me up. "Hey... no.... put me down. How are you this strong." I spoke loudly to her. "This is one of the only ways that we can assure you actually sit down and talk to us since you seem very eager to go back to your room and just not tell us anything." Liz said as we made our way over to a area in the convention center that was more private where we could talk. 

It took a few minutes get there but we eventually made it to the secluded area. Where I was basically half thrown half placed on a couch with everyone standing in front of me. "Okay now since we are all here Zenith go ahead and tell them what you were wanting to tell them before you freak out and wanting to go back to the room." Hannah sun while looking at me. 

I took a deep breath and let out a sigh. "I..I just do not think that.... it is just you guys are famous cosplayers and you have so many fans and I just don't want them to think that I'm using you to get popular. Which that is not what I am trying to do. I have always been insecure about myself. I went through a lot of shit growing up and it has just made me have so many insecurities about myself. That it is hard for me to open myself up to other people. As well as me being a fan of you and all that I am nervous and I don't want to seem like I'm trying to get your attention all the time and that may make you think that I am some crazy fan that just.. I don't know." I paused looking down not wanting to look them in the face. "I mean like with the photos I was not expecting to be photographed with you guys because I not very confident in my cosplaying skills and I am also just a newbie at cosplaying. Also I have only done solo shots of my cosplays I've never taken photos with other people for. So it was kind of hard for me to step out of me comfort zone. When I see your videos and watch your Tik tok's I just I can not help but wonder how do you get the confidence to do it and be envious of how much confidence you have in your abilities." I ranted to them after I finished a set in silence looking at anywhere else besides them.

 For a good 3 minutes they were silent did not say anything so I kind of assumed that they thought I was crazy and they would just leave but I guess it's my own fault. At one point during them being silent and not talking I ended up tearing up and over thinking on how they would react or what they would say. "Hey it's okay you don't have to beside about it we I had a feeling that you were a fan but we weren't quite sure because of the way you acted. I thought you just didn't care who we were." Amanda said as she sat down next to me on the left love me. "Yeah at first we thought you hated us because the way you acted but when we went to do the photos we knew it was not hatred it was most likely embarrassment or something else." Liz said she sat down on my right. "I do not hate you guys it is quite the opposite. I just was trying not to freak out and treat you like normal people and not some famous cosplayers that have millions of views and followers." I said a little embarrassed at the situation.

"We appreciate you trying to treated like normal people but by now we should be used to having people freak out over us. But if you had freak out when you first met us, I don't think we would mind very much". Amanda assured me. "I am sorry I didn't tell you the first time we met I just I was also pretty tired at that point from driving 7 hours to the hotel." I said laughing a little bit.

We stayed on the couch for a little while we'll come down and we let the situation that I just happened set in. After a while we decided we should probably go do something else now that everything was figure it out.