𝙂𝙧𝙖𝙫𝙚𝙮𝙖𝙧𝙙 𝙎𝙝𝙞𝙛𝙩 || 𝙏𝙖𝙚𝙠𝙤𝙤𝙠

eventide

"Hey, Guk, you okay?" 

Taehyung's voice breaks Jeongguk out of his somnolent stupor and he jerks back to reality. 

It's been a really tiring day for Jeongguk. Even though he's quite used to lethargy due his insomnia, it's still a gargantuan inconvenience to his life. Midterms are right around the corner and he's been drowning in assignments and tests with zero sleep. And he's just really really tired.

As luck would have it, it's a Monday night, which is the busiest out of all the days of the week next to Friday night. So he hasn't talked to Taehyung that much since he came to work, which further added to his drowsiness. 

"Yeah, just tired," he says, accepting the can of coffee Taehyung hands him with a muttered thank you. 

Taehyung sits down beside him on the elevated ground next to a gas pump. "I can tell. You look like shit." 

"Thanks," Jeongguk says, huffing out a laugh as he cracks open the can and takes a big gulp.

Taehyung shakes his head, "No, really, you look terrible. You should get more sleep."

Jeongguk scoffs, "If only I could."

Jeongguk knows Taehyung is frowning confusedly at him without looking at the elder. "What do you mean?"

He sighs and decides to just spill it. "I have insomnia." 

Taehyung's eyes widen and he goes quiet. So Jeongguk adds, "Yeah..I don't tell a lot of people that." 

Taehyung's silent for a while before he laughs softly, "Well then I'm glad I'm here for your big insomnia coming out." 

Jeongguk laughs at that, glad for Taehyung's ability to lighten up any situation. 

"How long have you had it?,"  Taehyung asks. 

"I dunno," Jeongguk answers, fiddling with his drink, "Maybe since I was eighteen, so about five years now." 

Taehyung makes a small surprised noise at that, "That's a long ass time. What's it like?," he asks, resting his elbows on his knees and cupping his face in his hands. 

Jeongguk hums and spends a few seconds gathering his thoughts, "It's not like I can't fall asleep. I can. It's more like I can't stay asleep. The most sleep I remember getting in five years is like, three hours max. When I wake up, it's impossible for me to go back to sleep." 

Jeongguk looks at Taehyung to see if the elder is following or not, and finds him looking at him with an attentive gaze, so he continues. 

"I don't exactly remember how it started, I just remember waking up in the middle of the night and not being able to fall asleep for like the next three days. My mom got worried so she took me to a doctor who diagnosed me. He'd said it was acute, but I'm pretty sure it isn't." 

Taehyung nods, taking it all in. "Haven't your tried anything for it?" 

Jeongguk chuckles bitterly, "What haven't I tried? Of course, teas, excessive reading, pills and other shit work, but I can only get an hour in every night at most." 

"I guess you might be used to it now," Taehyung says, his voice quiet and understanding. 

Jeongguk nods, "You're right. I sometimes can't even tell when one day ends and another begins, can't tell what day or time it is. I think I'll spend my whole life tired to the bone." 

Taehyung stays quiet so Jeongguk adds on, "Remember that thing you said about nightime, hyung?" 

"I remember," Taehyung replies. 

"I feel like that about it too I guess. That's why I took this job. It's like I can be awake without the weight of the world on me. Everyone is asleep except me, but at least I can close my eyes and take a breather, even if it's just for a few minutes. It's calm, and quiet and just.." 

"Safe," they both say at the same time. 

Jeongguk looks at Taehyung to find the older smiling at him, and he smiles back. 

A light wind is in the air, it ruffles Jeongguk's hair and blows Taehyung's fringe away from his forehead. 

Some guys enter the station and head towards the convenience store, so Taehyung gets up with a sigh. He throws one last smile Jeongguk's way and says, "Guess someone understands after all." 

-

this was surprisingly hard to write though it really shouldn't be :/