Run

Chapter Thirty-Five

It scares me how calm Alex is. Watching my father, I think he's scared too.

"So, uh, do you want something to eat? My treat, whatever you want!" My dad tries to give a reassuring smile but he mostly looks at the table to avoid Alex's stare.

"Sure, thanks Mr. ummmm..." Alex pauses a moment, "You know, I didn't catch your name. Did you Jules? I feel like you should at least know your father's name, right?"

He's trying to make my dad uncomfortable, and it's working. I just wish I knew for sure why he was doing it. To get under his skin? To make him feel bad for abandoning me and mom? To make him feel out of place?

"You can call me Terry, I suppose in the shock and confusion last night I never did really introduce myself." He tries to laugh it off. I watch his eyes travel between Alex and me. "Are you two umm.... You know?"

"No!" I snap, "No, no me and Alex are not dating if that's what you're trying to ask."

"Yeah, Jules doesn't really date, even though she could probably get any guy she wanted."

I lower my head to hide the blushing. My father lets out a deep chuckle.

"I can believe that, her mother was quite a looker too at that age. I'm glad to see it was passed down. How... How is school and such? Shouldn't you be in school?"

"Some stuff came up, gave us a chance to take a little road trip." Alex is so smooth, acting like it's no big deal. "Jules has definitely made the trip interesting."

My father looks at me, glancing at him I see uncertainty. "So, what are you thinking over there?"

"I don't... I don't really know, like, I had so many questions last night but... Its like I can't find them now."

"Well, I mean, I'll answer any question to the best of my ability," He shrugs his shoulders, "Maybe you can answer some for me."

"Like what?" I stare at him in shock. Does he have the right to ask any questions? I really don't know.

"Well, how is your mom?"

"Buried in debt and struggling to make ends meet and still go to school." I hate how angry it makes me that he even asked that.

"Anyone new in her life? Does she ever talk about me?"

Now I'm mad. Is he jealous? He's the one who left, he has zero right to be jealous. "No, she hasn't seen anyone since I was maybe six. She's too busy trying to keep us fed. And no she doesn't talk about you, because every time she does, she cries herself to sleep for the next week. You left her with nothing! Less than nothing! She loved you and you just ran away!" My words clearly hurt, I watch his head droop and Alex's face pale. "Why did you leave? Why did you leave us? Mom tried so hard to help you pay your debts and get clean, she loved you, she wanted us to be a family. So, why?"

He doesn't say anything. He watches me carefully, no doubt contemplating what will happen if I don't like his answer. With a deep sigh, he runs his hand over his messy, greying hair and says, "I was young and stupid, and I knew I'd only ever let her down because I don't think I'll ever stop gambling. Don't get me wrong, there are days I wish I could quit, even now that I rarely lose I'd like to quit. Why tempt fate, you know? But I don't think I'll ever stop, and when you're young you think you can do whatever you want without consequence, so I left. I was dumb and greedy and I didn't appreciate the good thing I had."

I'm stunned, I wasn't expecting a real answer. I was expecting some garbage if not wanting to be burdened with a family or not wanting to be tied down. "If you could, would you go back and change things? Would you choose to stay with us?"