Run

Chapter Twenty-Three

Alex wants to leave tomorrow evening, three days out in the open makes him nervous. I think standing in the hot sun all day is fogging his judgment and making him paranoid. He's been in a mood all three days, quietly conversing only when I push him to.

I don't mind the silence between us, over the past couple days a lot of tourists have been telling other people at their hotels about me keeping me busy from the moment we set up to the moment we leave.

Alex and I have been almost completely silent to each other since that first night after doing portraits. He hasn't been chatty during the day and I'm too tired at night to bother.

"Tonight make sure your bags are ready to go. I have no problem letting you spend the day drawing again before we leave but when I say it's time to stop I'll need you to listen. Ok?"

I focus on drawing the young couple in front of me, halfheartedly listening to Alex, "Yeah that's fine. Can we just talk about this at lunch?"

He scoffs and slumps against his usual wall. I roll my eyes before going back to focusing on the couple. I give a small smile as they giggle, "So what brings you two to Texas?" I ask as I work on shading.

The woman starts giggling, her strawberry blonde hair bouncing and falling over her face, the man next to her smiling strongly as he holds her hand, "We're engaged," his smile only grows, "We're here to visit her family and pick a venue. Everything else is ready, we've picked a caterer and a theme, she has her dress. All we have left is the venue to pick."

She holds up her hand to show me the large diamond on her finger, it's beautiful in it's gold setting. They fight to get back into their pose so I can keep drawing.

"That's awesome, I'm happy for you guys," I keep my voice light.

They keep talking about their wedding day, how she loves her dress and how he can't wait to be with her forever and it's sweet and all but my brain wants to be cynical. I sit and think about how my mom never got her fairytale wedding, how the man she thought would be there forever just left, how I'm always so busy that I wouldn't know that kind of love if it hit me in the face.

I'm a drone for the rest of the portrait, it takes me a little longer to do since I spent ten minutes on her ring alone. They're happy, with each other, the drawing, with the future they have planned. I'm a drone, I have been for years. I'm probably going to be a drone for the rest of my life.

I go through another two portraits before Alex tells me to eat. We sit and eat together in silence, big surprise.

"Am I a drone?" I blurt out, catching him off guard with a piece of chicken hanging off a chopstick.

"What?" He laughs after regaining his composure and putting his food down.

"Am I a drone?"

He looks almost offended, "Where the hell would you get such a stupid idea?"

"I go through the motions, I do what has to be done and nothing else. That couple today, they're excited, I've never been that excited. My mom never got that dream wedding and I honestly don't think I ever will. I'll always be too busy for a love life, always fighting to stay afloat. Even if I did somehow manage to get married it'd be a cheap thing because who has that time or money. I'm a drone."

He starts laughing, hysterically. I don't know how to react to that, I don't think I've ever heard anyone laugh that hard.

"You do realize how dumb that sounds right? For a smart girl, that damn well might be the stupidest thing you could ever say!" He can't stop laughing, "You are not a drone, by any means. You're determined and you make major sacrifices to better those you love and your future. You go through the motions now so you can have a chance at more later. I could see us at some high school reunion someday and you'll amaze everyone because here you were, this girl no one knew, guys could never get to or understand, this incredible mystery, someone always moving and they'll see what a accomplished, free spirit you've become."