Revelations and anguish

60 Years later

Saint

I stared at my still sleeping husband. Many years have passed since those fateful events. We went through many ups and downs in our lives. But we did it together. It gratified me that I got to watch my scrawny lover grow to a handsome man. We got married and enjoyed marital bliss for many decades. Time was our enemy. My husband's once youthful and handsome face was marred with lines of old age. His once dark hair was a dull grey, sprinkled with white. His once soft skin, wrinkled. Every inch of his body screamed 'old'. Yet I loved him with all of my heart. The heart that was close to dying sometime soon, for, old age has ravaged my body too. My husband was still the same gentle, mature lover he was back then. Taking care of me with utmost devotion.

As I stared at his face I was hit with a sudden wave of pain. The phantom pain I kept feeling as our days on this earth kept drawing to a close. The pain of losing my husband. The pain of having to survive his passing. I wasn't strong enough. I'll never be strong enough. I cannot live without the love of my husband. That much I knew.

Before I could break-down in tears, my husband's eyes opened. Those, were still the same. They still held that expressive gaze. They still sparkled when they laid on me. It humbled me, that I meant so much to him. Even now. After so long.

I greeted my husband with a kiss to his forehead.

"I love you, Suppapong." He whispered gently.

"I can't live without you Tanapon. Please, don't leave me. I'm not strong enough." my fears gushed out of me before I could stop myself.

He cupped my face in his weak hands. "I won't leave you here alone." He said with conviction. I nodded, soothed. He has never let me down in our long years together. I believed him. I nestled in his too-thin chest, listening to his heartbeat. The proof that he was still here. The proof that he will stay here for a while more. He carded his frail fingers through my hair and I basked in his attentions knowing very well that this could be our last.

"Perth..."

"I'm here."

I hugged him tighter. Or at least as tight as my weak body would allow. I poked my head out of my comfortable nest and looked up, wanting to see him smile. The corners of his eyes and mouth crinkled as he smiled that happy smile of his. Half his teeth were gone. Yet it was still the most beautiful smile in the world, in my eyes. Overwhelmed, I buried my nose in his neck, inhaling his scent. It was still the same, yet not. There was a tinge of age in it. A painful reminder that neither of us had much time left.

Again, I cried out his precious name, wanting to reassure myself that he will stay. Again, he placated me, kissing my forehead affectionately.

"Babe?" the old endearment I crave to hear every second of the day no matter how many times he called me that or how old we were. "We should eat na..."

Perth

I looked at him, a shadow of his former beauty. I was elated to have the opportunity to share our lives, but it pained me to watch him fade. His once glowing skin was dull, wrinkled. His beautiful dark hair a snow white. His once perfect features marred by an array of creases and furrows. His once firm muscle soft and weak. His straight back had a small slouch to it. Age had taken its toll on my husband, a man who was once gorgeous enough to challenge a Sindar in beauty, now reduced to the demeanor of a gnarled tree. Yet he was the most beautiful creature in the world to me. He will always be the center of my eyes, my life.

I wish we had more time. But that was only ever going to be a wish. All we could do was treasure the time we have left. I knew he was upset. I also knew that I have to survive him somehow for I never want to leave him here alone, to cope with the pain of my passing with no comfort in sight.

He was still the kind-hearted, loving man I knew. All our life, he took care of me. He was a doting husband to me. I love him with everything I am and have, even though it's not much nowadays in my frail state.

He was my friend, my brother, my lover, my husband, my world. There'd be no Perth without Saint, for I'd fade without the grace of his love.

As the curse of mortality claimed us, our taste for passion diminished; our weakening bodies incapable of keeping up. Yet the flames of our love burned higher, brighter and with more vigor than ever before. My husband refuses to get out of bed even now, so used to a round of morning passion he was during our young lives. Now he wishes to be cuddled and petted. I would love to indulge him, but I worry for his health, thus the reminder of breakfast.

Dragging my very reluctant husband out of bed, I ask him to shower while I make breakfast, but he refuses, clinging onto me like a wee baby does to its mother's skirts. I understood why. As the days passed, we became desperate for each other's presence, knowing that all will be lost any day now.

"Come now my love, we can cuddle after food na..."

All I got was a sad pout in return and I said no more about it. We washed, then dined. It hurt me to deny him his favorite foods, but I didn't want to hand out an early invitation for the inevitable, unwelcome guest to our lives. I wanted us to live for as long as possible. A healthy diet was important. My dragon understood my reasons quite well, so he put up only a token protest – just for old-time's sake.

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They passed away at the ripe age of 86, a day apart from each other, Perth's will for life leaving him as he watched the light in the eyes of his beloved fade and disappear. Their graves stood next to one another and many who loved them, came to visit them at their final resting place, leaving tokens; celebrating their strong love.