Locket |kellic; boyxboy|

Little Brothers Have Big Mouths

(Vic's POV)

My lips pull into an amused and sneaky smile. Kellin peaks from his window and smirks at me, shaking his head a little. I laugh to myself and sigh, then turn away from the window to go to Mom's room. When I open the door, the color drains from my face.

Dad crouches by the side, book in his hands and Mike perched beside him. What the hell was going on here? I stand there in the doorframe for a while before tilting my head at them. Mama was breathing the calmest she had since being sick and it made my insides turn. Why were they here? Mike was supposedly going to a friend's and Dad would have a night shift. How was Kellin supposed to stay?

I push away my original thoughts and frown at them. "Why now?" I ask. Dad doesn't answer, he turns back to Mama and starts reading again. I don't know the book but Mama seemed to like it, whenever it was time, she'd laugh along. Her voice was whispery and clipped but it as a laugh and that was good enough for me.

"Vic," she coughs suddenly. "Vic, come." So I go further into the room and see the contorted look on her face of sickness. I rush to the bathroom and grab the trashcan, then place it next to her where she empties her stomach. "Um," Mike says uneasily. I rubbed her back and sighed heavily. "I'm sorry." I hear her door shut and turn to see just Dad. Shaking my head, I caress her hair and frown. It falls between my fingers fragilely and it makes me want to curl in a ball and cry. She was fading so fast.

Kellin floods my mind and I feel a little better, remembering how he told me it would get better and held me like a fragile doll. My skin erupts in goosebumps as I remember the way his thumb traveled over the top of my hand earlier, how my stomach fluttered endlessly. "It's okay." I say quietly to her. Suddenly, it did feel okay. I push away the trash bin and crouch onto my knees next to her bed like I had so many times before.

"Love, family, and myself," I whisper with my cheek pressed to her chest. It quivers beneath me. I feel her arms shakily wrap around me and my eyes widen when I feel her body wrack with tears. She's crying hard, shaking and sniffling. "Mama," I say in a whisper, burying my head deeper in her chest. "Don't cry."

"Love, family, and yourself," I say again. She rubs my back with a weak hand and my eyes well up. "Never give up."

_____

There's a short knock on the door and I jump up from the couch. Kellin is here, I think. I check around me to see if Dad is still in Mama's room and if Mike is in his. I'm safe, no one else is in the living room. I rush to the door and let him in, grabbing him by the forearm and holding a finger to my lips with the other. He kicks the door shut and I pull him along to my room.

We stand in front of the door, my hand on the knob, when we hear a voice. "So, the Bostwick boy, huh? Great choice, Vic." Mike says with a short chuckle. It was obvious he didn't like the idea. "He isn't like them. Please," I say in a clipped voice. "Please don't say anything." Mike shrugs and props his foot on the wall and leans back, looking genuinely pissed.

"I just think it's a shame. Banging someone Dad hates while Mama is here dying, you feel me?" Mike picks at his nails, then draws a spliff from his pocket. I hated when he smoked but he never bothered to stop. He closed his eyes and lit the rolled cigarette and sucked it down within minutes. He tilts his head and finishes it, then exhales a huge puff a smoke. "I do," I say weakly. "Yeah, sure. But, like, Mike. You don't get it--"

"Obviously you don't. You're not processing the fact that she is going to die soon, but no worries, go fuck or something." He shrugs and curls a fist to put the spliff out. "We aren't. We're just hanging out, okay? I just wanted a friend here." I cross my arms. Kellin is standing behind me, tension reeks off of him. Me and Mike stare one another down for a few minutes, then I angrily open my door and storm in, pulling Kellin along with me.

We don't speak for a while after I slam the door. I pace a little and Kellin sits on my bed, probably nervous. I feel bad for ruining his visit but I couldn't help it, Mike had seen and there's no taking it back. "Maybe we can convince him he was high or something," I pant. "Maybe he won't remember or he'll think it was a dream-- um," I swallow spit and take my fingers through my hair.

"Vic," Kellin says quietly from in front of me. His hands clench the ripped materials of the knees of his jeans. He looked rather on edge but I didn't know what to do, I was so distraught that I'd be found out and Mama would hate me for her last few moments that I couldn't do anything but stand and look at him. All the time I spent helping her and making sure she was okay, that she was comfortable, would be for nothing.

The feelings it brought me, the depression that ate at my insides and the dread that weighed on my chest, would never be able to be fixed if she died in vain. When I didn't say anything, Kellin kept talking despite the tears welling in my eyes. He glances up at me, "Are you really that concerned that someone might know we hang out?" I open my mouth to speak but nothing comes out. Was he mad at me?

He stands and knots his hands in front of him. "N-No," I look down. "Course not. I just don't want my mom to hate me." He lets his mouth fall a little and sticks one hand in his pocket and one lifts his bag filled with his things for tonight. There's a heavy feeling on my chest and it worsens when I see his sad eyes lower to the floor. "So if she knows about me, she'll hate you," he mumbles. He shuffles his feet.

I reach to him but he moves away and I know I've fucked up. "That isn't what I meant, Kellin. I just meant that I want to keep everyone happy."

"And I won't make them too happy."

I gulp again, "I just meant I don't know how they'd take it, you know how things are. Imagine me going to your house right now." He nods and lifts his head but he still appears upset, tears still glass his eyes over. I reach for him again but he shakes his head. "Fine, I'll go then." I feel my heart twist and ache but no words will form to stop him just yet. He clenches his hand around the bag and storms past me. "Don't go, I want you here." I say with a deep frown.

With his hand on the doorknob, he shakes his head slowly. "I'm not going to stay somewhere I'm not welcome. I'm sorry." I start speaking again and he opens the door, obviously not having it. My teeth sink into my bottom lip and my throat burn with tears as the door shuts behind him. I flop into my bed. I just wished things were different. Tears slide down my cheeks. Don't go, I want you here. My chest aches from the pressure of silent tears but I can't make too much noise.

I swipe my eyes but the tears keep coming. He's gone. He hates me now, my only friend, my only resort. Kellin is gone. I cover my mouth with my hand and suck in a sharp breath, heaving out more tears. I hear Mama coughing from her room and I cry harder, dropping my hand and leaning forward, completely worn out, but get no relief, I'm still heaving. Don't go, I want you here. I didn't even think about it then but it's true, I do want him here. I want him to do what he did under the tree, wipe my years and hold me so my head rests on his shoulder.

But he wasn't and he was angry with me beyond what words could fix. There was no going back to the way we were. Even if we did start talking again, even if he forgave me, he'd still look at me differently, no doubt. Mama coughs again and I fall back in my pillows, feeling defeated. Why couldn't I have been better with words? I get up, stumbling a little, and wipe my face, then open my door. I rush to the office, keeping my head down in case anyone was in the hall. No one was.

When I reach the office, I sit down at my desk. After I dig through my supplies, I find my sharpener's replacement blade. Was it worth it? I look at the shining metal with tear filled eyes and an unclear mind. I shake my head and lay it on the desk, but then pick it back up. What's the worst that could happen? I'll feel relief, I think. Tony did it sometimes, so it couldn't be hat bad right? Just once.

I'll just do one.

_____

I know this this the second update today but the reason is: I'm not gonna be able to get on again until wither Wednesday or the weekend because like I've said before, I have no wifi at him ;-; pls forgive me.

Anyway, did you like it? Ya know, the parting of victor and Kells?

Tbh I hated writing that but it needed to happen k