(Vic's POV)
I sat in my room patiently all day. All fucking day. Despite the few times I ran out to help Mama, my ass never left my room. I didn't even do school work, I was too anxious. It occurred to me that this was just Kellin. We'd met plenty of times before under that tree and this one shouldn't be any different.
But it was different. I was afraid this time. Afraid he was mad at me, afraid Mama knew about him, afraid that it would make us argue more. I was basically scared to even look out of my window, in his direction. It also occurred to me that I cared for his approval way too much.
When four o'clock rolled around, I got dressed in black chinos and a snug fitting grey tee shirt and Vans slip ons. I peeked out of my window to see Kellin's bus pulling up, biting my lip. When he got off, something clicked and I chewed on my lip harder, eyeing the gentle sway of his narrow hips. I waited by the window for his signal. A few minutes pass and I get impatient for an unknown reason.
First I didn't want to go, now I was rushing him. I shake my head and go to brush my teeth to pass time and to keep my hands busy. After that, I slid a beanie on and a heap of bracelets, glancing out the window every so often. Nothing. No Kellin. Gulping, I sit on my bed and tap my foot, feeling stupid. Of course he didn't want to see me, I upset him. He thinks I'm embarrassed of him but it's the opposite, he doesn't understand. But I'm the reason he doesn't, I'm horrible with words. Oh God he hates me now, I just know it.
I lay back on my bed and sigh, twiddling my thumbs around for another ten minutes, then peak out the window. I even check my other widow to check the tree, seeing if he was there. He wasn't; he apparently was still in his house. I check my phone and see that it's 4:29, and still no sign of him. He isn't coming then. I frown deeply and chew my lip, looking at the ground. He really doesn't want to see me. I slowly kick my slip ons off, they bump against the wall, creating a thump, and throw my clothes on my floor, snatching off my beanie. I shut my curtains and cut off all my lights, then went to my drawer. I'll just do one.
I sit on the edge of bed and bite my lip, sighing loudly. Is it worth it? For the second time this week, I push the thoughts away as I lower the hem of my boxers and lower the blade to my hips. Why did I have to say that? I'm such a bad person. Maybe I need to leave him alone. Would he be better off? I did another. I watch the cuts fill with the red liquid and then look away, feeling ashamed. But despite the feeling, I do another. I let out a shaky breath and drop the blade to the floor, grimacing at the sound of it hitting the carpet. I cover my three new mistakes and rush to the bathroom, biting my lips still.
After I've cleaned them and covered them with small bandages, I cover them with the waist of my boxers, then place my hands on the counter. Why did I turn to this? Oh God, this is disgusting, what am I doing? I chew the inside of my cheek, denying the fact that I felt actual relief. "I'm in deep shit." I mutter, knowing this wasn't the last time this would happen.
_____
(Kellin's POV)
Jenna bites my lower lip and I groan, bucking my hips up again, causing her to do the same. She hits her high and rolls off of me, then I turn to look at her, panting for breath. "Jesus Christ," she says breathily. "I didn't know you were that good, Kellin. Kelly's got it made." We laugh and I prop my head up with my palm.
"No, she doesn't." I shrug a little. She makes a face and I chuckle a little. "What do you mean? Haven't shagged her yet?" She winks. I put my hand on her waist and shake my head, trailing my thumb over the soft skin. It still didn't make my whole being tingle like Vic's did. "No, no, I haven't. I'm not going to." I say, biting my lip. Jenna laughs and flops back on the pillow, mumbling something about Kelly's stupidity.
YOU ARE READING
Locket |kellic; boyxboy|
FanfictionWe were enemies by birth. We were in love by choice. [trigger warning for like three chapters]