let's give 'em somethin' to talk about

now i'm convinced that i'm going under

Gloria is quick to change the subject after that, redirecting Marnie to other topics, and not long later, Bede rejoins them, and eventually, Hop. At that point, Gloria makes her excuses, saying that it's late and she really needs to get back to Wyndon, giving the couple her best wishes.

Hop stops her just before she leaves, saying, "Hey, I've got something big coming up. I'll call you later, alright?"

"Of course! Sorry I couldn't stay longer," she replies, surprised that she can still talk to him like everything is normal.

"The champion is always busy, I know how it is," he says. "I'll see you soon!"

Have his smiles always made her chest hurt this much?

~X~

Once she's alone in her apartment, she can properly freak out about this, where no one other than her oblivious Pokemon can see her lay face down on her bed, groaning into her pillows. This isn't real, is it? Was it just the romantic atmosphere of the wedding, the perfect timing of Marnie bringing up Hop, the way the lighting hit him when he waved at her from across the room?

Or does she really have feelings for him?

The problem is that it would make perfect sense if she did have feelings for him. They've been close since they were eight years old, far too young to notice a spark like that, and from that point on, it was always just Hop. Of course she was happier to spend time with him than most people, he was her best friend. And, sure, she always missed him like crazy during their separate journeys, and would get excited when she ran into him on the road.

Defeating him in the championship finals was painful and watching him come into his own after that, discovering a new dream to pursue, was almost more rewarding than achieving her own dream, but she never considered those signs that she might like him like that . He was always just Hop, always a part of her life, always comfortable, and she's never sought out a relationship because she's always been content.

She never had to feel lonely, because if she did, talking to Hop always cheered her right up.

No one ever came close to what she wanted in a relationship because, though she was too dense to realize it, she already had what she wanted. They've never been in a relationship, but Hop has been a constant in her life, leaving her with a feeling of contentment that made anyone else seem unappealing by comparison. And when she reflects on those brief flashes on interest she's had based on appearance, all the way up to his older brother, she realizes, more often than not, it was someone who bore some sort of resemblance to Hop.

Because she totally does have a type, and it's Hop. Leon was almost right because he looks enough like Hop without being Hop that she could take notice of his looks without it being too weird. The more she pieces it together, the more she understands that she's always had it bad for Hop, and just done a very, very good job of keeping it buried and making excuses for herself.

Now that's all over, and she gets hardly any sleep that night, unable to stop thinking about him. Memories of their childhood and of the past few years will come up randomly, as if to prove to her how obvious it's always been, probably to everyone except her, and possibly also Hop. If anyone else would be oblivious, it would be him, and she thinks he would have said something by now if even he could tell that she had feelings for him.

She can't ever tell him. That's the only coherent thought she has after her mostly sleepless night; she can never tell Hop about this. After all these years of being the best of friends, of being neighbors and rivals, she can't just call him up and say, "By the way, I think I love you." Naturally, if something were going to happen between them, it would have by now. They've had plenty of opportunities over the years, so that is a pretty clear sign that Hop is happy with how things are now.

So she won't tell him and won't mess up what they already have going on. They're such good friends, and she wouldn't want to do anything to put an end to that. Of course, even if he never finds out, now she knows, and she doesn't know what she's supposed to do about that. She'll have to keep pretending like everything is normal, but beyond that, she has to find a way to make this stop. If that's even possible after all this time.

She really hopes that it is, because she isn't sure if she can survive on so little sleep, and she isn't sure if her heart can withstand jumping halfway up her throat every time she thinks about Hop's smile.

~X~

He calls her the next afternoon, just as he promised he would, and still she panics when she sees the call coming through, wondering if she should even answer it. But of course she should, it's still Hop , who she hangs out with and talks to all the time. If it's going to be like this, then she really doesn't know if she can do it.

"Hello?" she asks, when she finally takes the call.

"Gloria! Hey, remember last night when I said I had something big to tell you about?" he asks.

"Yeah, what's going on?"

"Sonia's throwing a big party for me at the end of next week! Ah, apparently I got noticed by some pretty important people for my independent research, so...well, it's a lot going on!"

"Hop, that's amazing!" says Gloria.

"You think so?" She can vividly see his expression right now, grinning as he tries to act humble. "Anyway, I really hope you can come. Sonia's gonna send the invitations, but I wanted to tell you first."

"I'll be there," she says, before she can stop herself. But of course she'll be there, even if, after agreeing, she wishes she'd made some excuse. She doesn't really want to avoid him, and wouldn't miss something that important to him for the world. No matter what, she needs to get over these feelings, because she can't end up avoiding Hop over them.

"Brilliant, I'll see you then!"

"See you then."

As soon as she hangs up, she finds herself calling Marnie. She doesn't necessarily think Marnie will have much input on the subject, but she doesn't have anyone else she can call about this. Like hell she's going to vent to Bede about her romantic problems, and it would feel weird asking Sonia for advice where her assistant is concerned. So that only leaves Marnie, who just accused her of having feelings for Hop to begin with.

"I think you were right," Gloria says, as soon as she answers.

"Right about...what?"

"Last night, about Hop, I think...I think I do..."

"Oh." Marnie pauses for a moment before saying, "Yeah, I know."

"B-but I said..."

"Yeah, but I didn't believe you." She says it so simply that all Gloria can do is groan. "So, what's the problem?"

"How do you not see the problem?"

"The two of you already act like you're together. Probably wouldn't be too hard to make that official."

"Wh- no! We're just friends, we've always been just friends! Hop isn't...he doesn't...we're just not like that," she insists. It must be so easy for Marnie to just casually give her advice that could ruin her entire life like that, considering it doesn't affect her either way.

Marnie pauses again, as if in thought, and says, "Alright, well. Guess ya know the situation better than I do. So, then, what's your plan?"

"There isn't any plan, I don't think. Just...trying to forget about it, so I don't mess anything up."

She sighs. "If that's what you're gonna do, then good luck, I guess. Still, I don't think it would happen like you think it would. At least think about that a little."

Gloria can only thank her for the advice, but as far as actually considering it? There's just no way she could risk everything she already has with Hop over this. Losing him is a lot worse than quietly pining for him, she's sure.