Cesar Diaz Imagines

32 - morning after

I had to sneak out, I couldn't stay. Last night was fun sure, but a mistake. I can't get myself wrapped up in Cesar Diaz's life as a sex buddy again.

I leave for school without a second thought.

···

But why did I think he wouldn't find me at school?

He found me almost instantly, and he looked so cheery. This poor boy, I got his hopes up again, dammit, "Hey, you."

I walk past hoping he wouldn't notice but he did, "you left this morning without a goodbye."

"I had to uh ... go home and shower."

He grabs my hand and drags me into an empty classroom and tries to lay a kiss on me but I swerved it, "whoa ... what's happening?" He seemed utterly confused by my actions because it contradicted what happened last night.

"Nothing."

He takes a step back, "last night wasn't nothing."

"Cesar ..." my shoulders droop and I'm prepared to let him down as easy as possible, "Monse is still here, she's not gone. She still loves you. I made a mistake, you were just there when I needed you."

He takes a step forward as I take a step back only for my behind to slam into a desk, I'm stuck.

"I'm in love with you y/n and I know you love me too."

"How?"

"Because last night, you were worried about me because Cuchillos threatened my life, you got scared. You care about me."

"As a friend, Cesar. I care for you as a friend," I say immediately to shut down his hopes.

"You're lying. You fiddle when you lie."

I notice my hands fiddling. I force them apart and into my back pockets to stop them from moving.

"Okay fine, yes, I'm in love with you Cesar and I have been in love with you for a long ass time but we can't work, we don't work. I'm trying to get over you because Monse is still in the picture and she's leaving soon, I can't do that to her, she's supposed to leave with good memories of us, not all this hurt and suffering that just seems to keep replaying and replaying. Last night was something I just needed one last time and it shouldn't have happened because we both love Monse and we care about her so much more."

I could see he was hurt but I was more hurt by what came out my own mouth.

"I'm sorry, Cesar, I really am."

I move past him and make an exit without hearing his answer because I knew, his answer would make me go against everything I had said to him.