You're My Sol

Chapter 21

Jake spent the next week keeping Marisol as far away from me as possible. I guess he thought that I was trying to take Marisol away. Which I was, but not because I was a jealous best friend. At lunch, he didn't give Marisol a chance to speak to me. Always cutting her off, distracting her when she turned to me--it was like he knew something was going on between us.

The thought made me nervous.

He was at her side in the hallways, seemingly with her everywhere. On top of that, in precalc, we were so busy that Marisol and I didn't have time to chat. Track practice was the only place we could really talk, and most of the time we were too out of breath to say anything.

On Friday, I walked into lunch. It had been over a week since Marisol confessed her feelings for me, yet it seemed like nothing had changed. There she was, sitting next to Jake, as per usual, him talking up a storm. Marisol's weary gaze met mine, and her eyes steeled.

Marisol stood up. She turned to Jake. "We need to talk."

Everyone held their breath, waiting for what she was going to say?

"Babe?" Jake said nervously, looking around. "What's up?"

Marisol sighed. "I think we need to break up."

Kate and Sarah gasped. Jessica smirked. Jake simply gaped at her.

"Wh--why? I thought we were doing so well? What happened?"

Marisol rubbed her temple. "It's not you, but it's not me. It's both of us. I just feel like it's not really working out. It's like the spark is gone, you know?"

Damn, she was good at breakup lines.

"Babe, please, I still feel the spark and I think you do, too. We can work this out," he said, grasping for straws.

"No, we can't. I want to end on good terms, but I need time for myself. Can you please leave?" Marisol said cooly.

Jake's mouth opened then closed. He squeezed his eyes shut. "Sure..."

He got up and left the table, taking his food with him. I took the opportunity to slide into where he had just been sitting.

"This seat taken?" I asked Marisol.

She stifled a laugh.

"So what was that?" Kate asked, leaning on her palm.

"I meant what I said, it just wasn't working out," Marisol said plainly. She sent a glance my way.

Jessica looked between us, saying nothing.

"Good for you," I couldn't help but say, laughing.

She rolled her eyes. "Thanks."

Ashlynn smiled. "I kinda liked him, but if you think he's not good enough, then you deserve better."

Marisol smiled, peeking at me from the corner of her eye. "Way better."

From the other table, Jake kept sending angry glares at Marisol. So much for wanting to work things out.

For the rest of lunch, the girls and I talked as though everything was back to normal.

"Ready to go?" Asked Marisol, standing up from the table. I nodded, following after her.

After lunch we would walk together until we had to go our separate ways.

"So, can I flirt with you now?" Marisol whispered in my ear.

I laughed. "Sure."

She smiled at me, and it was like the whole world melted away. Her smile was brighter than the sun.

We reached Marisol's classroom. Just as she was about go in, someone crashed into her.

It was Jake. He glared at her. "You are such a bitch," he snarled. 

Marisol made eye contact with me. "I know I was. I'm sorry."

I didn't know if I forgave her just yet. She hurt me and strung Jake along. That wasn't okay. But maybe she could learn from her mistakes and be better. She was confused and scared, after all.

Jake looked taken aback. "W-well... you're still a bitch," he said and walked away.

Marisol and I fell into a fit of giggles.

"Bye!" Marisol cooed at him. She sent a wink my way before heading into class.

I swooned.

* * *

Marisol was over at my house, curled up on my bed.

I sat on the floor, a bunch of notebooks and pens scattered around. So much for a clean room.

"Tengo, tienes, tiene, tenemos, tenéis, tienen," Marisol recited.

I nodded, scribbling down the conjugations of the verb "to have" in my notebook. I was slowly learning more and more Spanish. I barely knew any, but it was a start. It was also fun to connect with Marisol.

She leaned backwards, letting her head hang off the side of the bed.

"¿Has aprendido algo todavía?" She drawled.

"What?" I asked.

She shook her head. "¿Cómo?"

"Fine. ¿Cómo?" I said.

"Have you learned anything yet?"

I smiled, shaking my head. "Yeah. I'm learning a lot, thanks to you."

She blushed. "I guess I'm a good teacher," she said, sitting up.

I nodded. "Definitely."

She leaned over and kissed me. "Thanks," she pulled back, smiling.

I grinned like an idiot. "No problem," I said.

I looked back at my notes. The words seemed to swim before my eyes, the letters looking like lines with no meaning. I would never be able to understand this. What made me think I was smart? I was an idiot, a fraud. I had to be perfect--I had to! But I couldn't. Suddenly it was all so overwhelming.

I groaned, burying my head in my hands.

"What's wrong?" Marisol asked, hopping off the bed to get closer to me.

"I'm just... I know it's stupid..." A tear leaked out of my eye.

There were so many numbers and I didn't remember what to do with them. How did I factor quintic functions? I needed to flip through my notes every five seconds, but I never had to do that before. Before, I could remember everything. Now? I don't understand anything. It's like I'm falling behind, losing my place. It's like I'll never be as good as--

Marisol gently laced her fingers through my hand. "It's never stupid."

I sniffled. "I just... I'll never be able to get this. And I should be able to. I'm supposed to be smart, right? But I'm not. I'm just an idiot--"

Marisol put a finger to my lips. "Stop it. You don't need to be perfect--" Marisol stopped. She sighed, hugging her knees to her chest. "I get it, though," she whispered. "I feel like I have to be perfect. I don't know what I did, but my aunt and uncle don't really like me. I guess I'm a burden. I want to make it up to them, to prove that taking me in wasn't a mistake. So I want to be perfect. And when I'm not," a teardrop fell down her face, "I lash out."

I threw my arms around her. "It's okay," I said. I rubbed circles into her back. "It's okay."

She sniffled, then pulled away from the hug. "It's not, though."

"Your aunt and uncle took you in. They decided to do that because they wanted to care for you. Now, they have to support you. You don't need to hurt yourself bending over backwards for them, they already made the decision to become your guardians. They can't take that back," I said.

"I know," she replied, wiping her nose with her sleeve. "I just want them to be proud of me."

I smiled sadly. "Don't we all."