Caratland [Seventeen FF]

-33-

Jihoon poV:

That piano. When was the last time I saw one of these? Maybe three years? No, it must've been longer. Maybe eight years? Yeah, about eight years ago was the last time I've ever touched a piano. Soonyoung wasn't around so I could... I could play a little right?

I walked over the piano and opened the lid. I took a deep breath and placed my fingers on the tiles, making a tone. I got surprised so I jumped up a little. Right, pianos were pretty loud.... I tried it again and got immediately drawn in. My whole mind went blank and my fingers played automatically. I had no control over them and I liked it. I loved it. I forgot how much I loved this feeling. The feeling of pushing white and black tiles so that a harmonized melody appears. How much I loved playing music. I remembered everything: My passion, my hobby, my sense of life. That self made song I played. It had so many emotions in it. So many that- just a split of a second threw me back to my old self and the reason why I composed this song.

It's been two month since mom is gone. We didn't hear something nor did we know where she was. She didn't call or left any message behind. But I was still waiting. I don't know if it was hope or being desperate, but I knew she would come back. She wouldn't leave us two like that, would she? I went to the living room. It was about 4 am. I already made my mind up that I wouldn't go to school tomorrow. It was really calm outside. My dad was probably sleeping too. I hid in my room for about 5 hours since my dad got drunk. I hated it if he was drunk. He said that it's my fault that mom is gone. He said that, because I was bad in school mom lost all hope in me. He said that I was the reason why my mom had a few depts to pay off. He said because I was born mom ran away. I didn't want to believe that because mom seemed happy around me. But slowly, living day by day without mom around, I think that dad was right. Maybe I was too expensive, because of school bills and other things. The only thing mom left behind was her piano. I loved to play on it since I was 4. No one ever taught me how to play. I just started by myself. My mom realized that I had some sort of passion in music and signed me up for the school band. Additionally I also learned how to play the clarinet and other instruments.
I laid my fingers on the monochrome tiles and started playing. I composed that song because of mom. I called it 'fear'. It was the right emotion that I felt for her. All immersed I didn't hear my dad coming until he grabbed my arm and forced me to turn around.
"Didn't I tell you that you're not allowed to touch it?", he yelled, the smell of alcohol coming out of his mouth. I didn't respond and looked him into his cold, heartless eyes. My heart pounded fast since I knew what would come next. "Answer, you stupid kid!", he spat. I tried to free myself from his grip, but he just squeezed my wrist harder.
"Let go!", I exclaimed helplessly as I tried pushing him away.
"Stop fighting back and behave with respect to me!", he shouted and pushed me to the floor. I quickly crawled my way to the sofas. My dad followed me, while holding an empty bottle in his right. He was a nightmare when drunk. "Stop moving!", he screamed and threw the bottle at the wall. I quickly hid my face under my arms. The shrill sound of broken glass echoed through the room, the small splinters lightly piercing into my skin. My dad didn't stop following me though, so I quickly got up and ran to the direction of my room, but I was too slow and my father grabbed me by my leg.
"It's all your fault that she left and now you even have the willpower to resist? I will show you how to have respect", he drunkenly mumbled pulling me back to the living room. I tried grabbing several things on the way, but I was just a weak 14 years old kid. "Don't you ever dare to touch the things of her with your dirty hands of yours again or I will cut them off for sure", he went on. I panicked since I knew where he was going.
In front of the basement he held and let go of my leg, instead grabbed brutally my shirt so I had to get up.
"Take the time down there as reflection of what you did", he whispered in my face. Then he let go of my collar and coldly kicked me with his feet down the stairs. I formed a ball to get as less bruises as possible. It were just eight stairs. Eight painful, no ending stairs. I don't know how I managed to not break any bones. When I finally felt the hard, cold floor the pain hit me hard. My heart was still pounding fast, adrenaline shooting through my veins. I took my hands from my face to see that the only light coming from the living room slowly died as my dad pulled the door shut. There I laid, crouched and in pain. The tears quietly rolling down my cheeks. Why... Why did you leave mom?

"You're fine?", a voice pulled me out of my thoughts. It was Soonyoung's voice. Right, I wasn't in this apartment anymore, I was safe now... I took a sharp breath and turned around, quickly closing the lid of the piano.
"Yeah, I guess", I nodded and blinked a few times.
"You're sure?", he questioned as he furrowed his eyebrows. Don't let the memories get you so easily, Jihoon! You're here because of a fun trip!
"I wish I could've attended such a cool school", I changed the topic and got up. Soonyoung is quick witted so he might realize that something was going on inside my head, but neither wanted I to talk about it neither wanted I to let Soonyoung know about that kind of details. I don't need to pull him deeper in my mind than he already is. Before he could ask I quickly stormed out of the room. He quickly followed me
"Hey, we need to stick together!", he yelled after me.