Mistakes (Kiribaku)

Starry Night

Get your tissues.

Bakugou's P.O.V

Rubbing my eyes, I dismissively looked around for my phone, pressing the green answer button and holding it to my ear. I wasn't even sure who was calling but it better be important. "Hello?" I asked, voice still groggy from sleep. The only thing on the other line was sniffles. "Hello?" I asked, more alert. "It's Kiri he." The voice in the other line, Mina, answered. "He what? What happened?" I was even more awake, jumping out of bed. "He. He's gone." I froze, phone still held to my ear, sniffles filling the silence of the house. "What do you mean? He left?" I asked, hoping that was what she meant. "No. He's gone. He's dead." She was holding herself together, or at least trying to. My heart dropped in my chest and I felt sick all of the sudden. "No, you're lying. Please tell me this is a joke." I pleaded. "I wish it was. Please, just. I'm sorry." She started sobbing behind the phone again. I dropped the phone on the floor with a quiet clunk falling along with it. He's gone. Forever. I didn't even get a week. I don't know what would have happened between us. I screwed it up. If I was just a good person. If I was better than I was then, he might still be here. He would be with me and we might be happy.

   With a scream of anger and sadness, I pulled my hair as hard as possible, pain shot through my head. It was all my fault. I shouldn't have let him drive home. I should have driven him home. I shouldn't have done that. This was a bad dream. I could go back to sleep and wake up and he would be here. He would be beside me now and everything would be okay. I stood up and stayed silent, letting the tears fall freely down my cheeks. I left myself cry for once without trying to hide it. He's gone. It's still not clicking with me. He's really gone. Forever. Grabbing the shoes by my door, I grabbed my phone from the ground and walked downstairs. I grabbed my keys from the hook by the door and went to my car, sitting there for a while. I started up the car, driving to god knows where. I just needed to get away from this house. After what felt like hours, I arrived at a familiar mountain. It was four in the morning but I was alert and didn't plan on sleeping anytime soon. I started my hike up, the tears never ceasing to stop. With every step up, I wanted to die. Maybe me instead of him. He didn't deserve this. I didn't deserve him.

   I made it to the top and leaned against the familiar tree I had sat near before. I haven't been up here in a while. I stared out at the stars still shining in the deep black sky. I looked at the ones he told me to talk to. The ones he told me were my parents. He deserves a spot in the sky. He needs the brightest star. He was the light to my darkness. I feel like a monster. If I just drove him home. If I made sure he stayed with me instead. If I told him not to drink. If we didn't find the wine. If he didn't give me a second chance. It was my fault. He shouldn't have given me the chance. He should have known I was a mistake. That this was a mistake. If I moved on, he would still be here.

    Looking out at the bright star in the sky, I closed my eyes. "Hey Kiri. I never thought I would be doing this. Talking to the sky. But I feel like you're out there. And I want you to listen. I'm sorry. I really wish it didn't end like this. So, I'm not holding back anymore. I love you so much. I can't help it. You make me a better person than I ever was before. You've changed me for the better. You've helped me in ways you don't even realize. I'm sorry I did this to you. I caused you so much pain that you didn't deserve. I'm sorry I was your mistake. Just a dumb mistake. You were better off without me. But I would be lying if I told you these weren't the best days of my life. Full of emotion and sadness sure. But you made me the happiest I've been in a long time. I'm sorry. I really am. But I love you." I put my head in my knees, crying as I watched the sun go up. The stars slowly evaporated into the sky except for the brightest one, hanging on for dear life until it was outshone by the sun.

   Walking down the path that lead to my car, I sat there for a while, exhausted by everything that has happened. I went to his college dorms, walking inside and going upstairs. I went to his room and peeked inside. He never kept the door locked I guess. Mina was already inside, laying in the ground with the lights out. She stayed there, her eyes almost lifeless and blank. "Hey." I said, sitting on the ground. She didn't say a word just wrapped her arms around me and started shaking. "I know." She continued sobbing, her case dug into my shirt. She pulled away after a while and wiped her face. "I don't even know what to say." She said, staring at his room. It was kept nicely together, clean and tidy. I stood up, asking around the room and stopped at his desk, a piece of paper sticking out from a notebook. Opening it up, I read the words printed on the blue lines.

    'I wonder. I wonder if you think about me, if you think about me even a fraction of how much I think of you. One thing I know for certain is tat you won't be able to understand the pain you put me through. How can it be fair, how you made me the saddest and the happiest versions of myself? One thing you aren't worth if for me to beg you to stay. I wouldn't beg for anyone. But god only knows how much I think about getting you back. So, is this forgiveness? It's a start. I want to forgive you. To see the person you truly can be when you love me. Because I want you to love me.'

    My mind started racing as I moved more papers to the side, reading more.

   'Today was a good start. I'm actually happy you got into night classes with me. It makes me feel special. Like I'm the only one in your world.'

   My heart swelled and shattered at the same time reading that. Thats when the last note came into view. One that had Saturday's date on it.

    'I wonder if it's too early to be writing this? Whatever, it's not like you knew when I wrote it. Oh, mystery. I guess something about love doesn't matter how much time was spent with the person but the feelings your heart gives you. I knew from the moment we met you were different. I didn't know how it just clicked. I don't know if it's wrong to miss you. I know it probably should be. But I forgive you. And I love you. I guess this week was healing time. Because we didn't know each other well enough to start off. So, I'm glad to have spent this week with you. With the adventures we will go on and the things we will do. I'd be good to call you mine. I know I didn't make a mistake in giving you another chance. I'm glad I did. Thank you. I love you 'suki"

    I covered my mouth to stop any sobs from coming from my mouth. I grabbed all the notes and put them in my pocket. "Mina, I need to go." I said. She nodded and let me leave without any questions. I pulled out my phone to check the time seeing I had a missed message from Kiri. Opening it, I burst out in tears all over again. It wasn't the wine. It really was me.

Kirishima: I love youyfjkjqzqznxa
         Delivered 11:59