Pesy One Shots

Forbidden Love

  

              22nd Of August 1971

Dear Diary,

It was a warm, sunny Thursday morning. The ground was so warm you could probably cook an egg on it. I was on my way to meet up with my favourite person, my girlfriend, Jesy and yeah it isn't classed as "the norm" at this point in time, but hopefully, people can start to see you can't choose who you love.

Anyway, the reason I'm even back to writing in my diary is because of today's events.

Let me set the scene.

It was 9am and the sun was blazing down on us, it was the hottest day of the year. No one was out (or so I thought) considering how early it was. I was on my way to meet Jesy at our tree house so we could spend the day alone together.

The tree house has been built for as long as me and Jesy have been friends. We have so many memories in here; we came out to each other, we confessed our feelings for each other, we had our first kiss in here and finally, we always come here when we need space from everyone and the world. To be straight (which I'll never be) this little hut is our safe space.

Okay, back to the reason I'm writing this.

I had met Jesy at our usual spot and as soon as I seen her my knees just about buckle, the same cliched feeling for the past 2 years. She practically ran towards me and pulled me into a hug. It would probably hurt if it wasn't for the adrenaline of seeing her. I snuggled into her though, just happy to just be so close to her. She looked around to make sure no one was around and leaned in to kiss me. It brought a massive smile to my face making my cheek bones hurt from smiling too much.

We had been up in the tree house for the whole day, just laying with each other, reading, sleeping and just enjoying each other's company while it lasts, since we obviously couldn't do this in public. It was perfect.

It had gotten extremely late so we had to wrap this up and leave each other but before we left we shared the quickest kiss possible so that no one could see us, but little did I know that we had in fact been caught and school the next day would be hell.

23rd Of August 1971

When we got to school the next day we had so many disgusted looks aimed at us. Everyone came up to us, called us faggots and then a few people shoved us into our lockers. I realised that someone had seen us and spread it around the school and knowing how fast word spreads around here our parents will find out soon. I also realised that because of this information everyone, including our families would hate us and the thought of that made my stomach turn inside out.

Throughout the first half of the day we were called probably every homophobic slur you could think of. We were constantly called faggots and dykes every class we were in and eventually it just became too much to handle. We shared a knowing look, grabbed our stuff and left.

We left the school and walked back to my house, of us on the verge of tears. Once we got to mine, I was relieved to see my mam wasn't home so we didn't have to feel the wrath of my mam.

When we got into my room we both collapsed onto my bed and broke into tears. We knew what was coming. We knew they would never accept gays in their family. I mean, its England in the 70s, of course they wouldn't accept it.

All we done until my mum came home was cry and cuddle into each other and we thought nothing could've been worse than school this morning but it was nothing compared to my mams reaction.

When my mam got home, she came straight upstairs into my room and pushed the door to my room with so much force it slammed off the wall, making the house shake and making me fall off my bed with fear.

When she came in she immediately started screaming at me, calling me an abomination and a mistake. Like, how would you feel if your own mother was against you and who you love? It sucks. Though to say I'm hurting would be an understatement. I was so shocked. I didn't think she would ever say this stuff about me. Her own daughter. She's meant to love me and care for me and always be here for me. Not leave me alone making me feel terrible about myself.

Not long after she started screaming at me she told Jesy to leave. I was told to never bring her back into the house and if I did, I would be disowned straight away. I obviously don't want that, I mean, who would?

Once she was finished she finally left me alone in my room, crying. All I wanted was Jesy to be here and for my mam to love me.

That left me crying myself to sleep, scared and alone.

When I woke up this morning I got a phone call from Jesy, telling me that her mam accepts her and was happy for her. However, they also said I can stay for as long as I want so I can stay away from my mum for a bit so I don't need to deal with the abuse.

So, as I'm finishing this entry, I'm just about to go to sleep next to the love of my life.

Maybe life won't be as bad as I thought.

Anyway,

See you next time I need to vent.

24th Of August 1971

"You ready for bed babe?" Jesy asks walking in while rubbing her tired eyes.

"yeah, let's get some sleep love" Jesy just hummed and made herself comfy in my arms.

"Goodnight Perrie, I love you"

"Night babe, I love you too"

Yeah, maybe my life won't turn out that bad after all.

//////

okay so, i know i've posted this before but i made some changes to it and edited a bit, there's probably still spelling errors and wrong words lol but i tried!

because of this corona thing, my school might be closing, tbh tho i doubt it since the scottish gov is shambles lol buttt if they do get shut then expect many more one shots since ill have so free time :))

anyway, i hope you enjoyed this and remember to vote, comment, anything ya wanna do :)

have a good day and stay safe! ♥️

tami x