Spiderson Oneshots {Requests}

so big/so small

"Don't you think you've done enough?" & "Do you hate me?" 

{This one's big angst oops}

*

Tony was grieving. That's all it was.

Peter repeated it to himself over and over again, all day everyday, to convince himself it wasn't actually his fault that Tony kept lashing out at him.

It wasn't easy to feel like an intruder in what was meant to be his home, but it wasn't Tony's fault. He was grieving, that was all.

It had been four months since Pepper died doing the snap to win that battle.

Tony was grieving the loss of his wife. His best friend. The mother of his child. The one who's stood by his side for decades.

The lashing out, the anger, the cold shoulder, it was fair. Tony was grieving.

If Peter felt hurt by any of it, he refused to show it. He would hold his chin high and meet every emotion with meek apologies and offerings of anything he could think of.

Peter had been living in the cabin for all four months, taking care of Morgan by himself while her dad was more or less MIA, in the throes of guilt and grief and anguish. Happy and May were grieving in the city, picking up her life. Rhodey was busy with work, helping rebuild the broken world.

It was down to Peter to take care of the five-year-old and her grieving father.

But that didn't mean it wasn't taking it's toll on him.

He hadn't slept well for as long as he could remember. He was trying to catch up in the missing five years, dealing with the nightmares and the obvious signs of PTSD after back-to-back wars he fought in, not to mention trying to stay on top of his school work at Midtown without actually going to school, and trying to keep tabs on everyone he cares about without them worrying about him.

It wasn't easy work, that alone. But he's also being a parent by himself.

It's tiring. He's a kid too, but he has to continue growing up too fast for everyone around him.

"Petey okay?" Morgan asks, crawling onto the couch next to him.

He blinks back the sleep that tries to take over his vision and forces himself up into a sitting position. "Yeah, I'm good, Momo, just a little tired. You want breakfast?"

"Pancakes!" she exclaims, hopping up onto her feet again. "With chocolate chips! And juice pops!"

Peter smiles and drags himself to his feet again. He slept for maybe an hour, trying to finish his reading for English along with all the projects he has to complete before midterms.

He gets Morgan situated at the table with a coloring book while he makes a batch of pancakes for them, setting aside a few for Tony.

"I'll be right back down, alright?" he murmurs, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "Eat up and then go get dressed, alright? I've gotta drive you to the city in a few hours for your appointment with Miss Sarah."

Thankfully, he got his driver's license before the snap, so he can take her to her therapy sessions in the city three times a week, along with playdates, birthday parties, grocery shopping, and everything else Peter has to remember.

Morgan obediently shoves another piece of pancake in her mouth and grins up at him.

Tony's room is dim, only the warm lamp light filling the room.

"I brought you breakfast and a coffee," Peter murmurs, settling them down on the nightstand. Some days, Tony's better at pretending for Morgan's sake at being okay. Today's not one of those days.