Spiderson Oneshots {Requests}

karen deserves more love

When Peter jolts awake, lungs empty and vision swimming, May appearing at his side like she has every night the past few weeks, Peter knows May won't let him continue like this. There's only so many nights she can hold him as he cries before she loses the strength.

The nightmares have gotten worse and worse ever since the snap was reversed. He's barely getting a couple hours of sleep every night, dreams of Titan and Thanos flashing behind his eyes every time he tries.

But Tony doesn't know.

Peter's barely seen Tony since the snap was reversed. He's been avoiding the cabin and Tony, even Pepper and Morgan. He knows it's not fair but he doesn't know if he could handle seeing Tony after the events that went down. He doesn't know if he could face Morgan knowing it was his fault Tony almost died that night.

He doesn't want to put himself into Tony's life knowing he's already built himself a new family, one that doesn't revolve around Peter. One that doesn't include Peter at all. He has Morgan and Pepper now. He doesn't need Peter.

"Tony loves you, Peter," May says, arms tightening around Peter. "He could help you."

"I'm okay," Peter says, but his heaving chest and shaking hands and tear-stained face gives away the truth.

May presses a kiss to his head. "You're not okay, honey, but I don't know how to help you. We always agreed that I'd be here for you as my kid, and Tony would be there for the things I would never understand."

Years ago, Peter would've agreed because he knows May is always doing this for his wellbeing. He would've at least hugged May a little tighter and promised her he'd get help.

Now, he's too tired to bother. He's too tired to make promises or to let her comfort him. He's too tired of trying.

So he pulls away from her embrace and crosses the room to his closet where he tugs out his old suit. It's still a little ripped and dirty from the last time he wore it and it makes his stomach twist, seeing the dust clinging to the fabric.

"Peter-"

"I'm going out," Peter says, crossing to the bathroom and slamming the door shut with just a touch of super strength that makes the wood crack. He tugs on the suit as fast as he can, hanging onto the edge of the sink to try to get his weak knees to hold him up.

He hasn't been in a suit since the battlefield that night when he came back from the dusted.

"Peter!" May calls out, knocking on the door. She sounds scared, awfully worried. "You're tired, honey, please don't do anything that could get you hurt."

As much as he wants to just slip out the bathroom window without so much as a goodbye, he can't. He loves May and he knows she's just trying to look out for him. So he yanks open the bathroom door and pulls her into a hug.

"I love you. I just- I need space, fresh air. Don't wait up for me."

"I love you too, honey. And please think about talking to Tony. He deserves to know, to see you. He misses you."

Peter tugs the mask over his head, pushing down the nausea at the dusty smell of Titan. And then he ducks out the window into the night.

*

There's not much crime in Queens. Most people are so busy dealing with the after-effects of the Snap, they're too busy to worry about mugging others or robbing banks.

Peter stops a few petty crimes, a car theft and a few attempted assaults, and he helps plenty of lost people.

But he finds himself sitting on a rooftop, sun rising behind him, without any crimes to attend to.