Level Playing Field

-nine-

~Alex~

It's 1:03 am and I am currently sitting in my kitchen, eating cereal in my pajamas, and contemplating how much of a fuck up I am.

I know, sometimes I'm too hard on myself, but this just takes the cake.

My phone upstairs is probably blowing up with text messages and calls from Juliana but I can't be bothered right now.

The indifference I felt about her is slowly turning into loathing and I really don't need that on my plate.

Tonight, or last night technically, Juliana decided then, out of all possible moments, to start bitching and accuse me of "ignoring her all night" when she "invited" me to the party.

It was a total load of crap and an attention seeking scheme that I wanted no part of.

And then David came outside, which kind of surprised me, but I wasn't opposed to it.

But then instead of acting like a normal person,  I acted weird and was being too forward and just thinking of the encounter made me want to crawl into a hole and never come out.

But David was seemingly unfazed. Actually, when I think about it, after every time we talk and I feel like an idiot and say something dumb, he never seems to mind.

It's kind of confusing. If I were him, I wouldn't stay within a three mile radius of myself. Good thing he decides to stick around though because all jokes aside, he's undeniably cute and I have a hard time keeping my cool when I'm around him.

Whether I'd like to admit it or not, this boy is growing on me and it's kind of scary. I've never felt this way about anyone this fast.

I figured that was enough wallowing for tonight and headed upstairs to get no more than three hours of sleep, seeing as David was all I could think about.

~~~~~~

I focused on the sound of my feet hitting the turf as I ran my final lap. It was the end of practice and Coach, as usual, made us run laps to cool down.

After I rounded the corner, finishing the run, I wiped some sweat off my forehead and made my way to the locker room.

I quickly showered and headed to my locker, not wanting to linger and hear Coach's mouth about how I could improve my performance even though we both know that there's not much I could improve on. I was so lost in thought I almost didn't see Eric approach me.

"Hey, you ok? You seem, out of it," he asked.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm just tired," I lied. Although I barely got any sleep last night, that wasn't the only reason why I was distant.

Today David is supposed to come over to work on the project and I don't really think I'm in the right mindset for that at the moment.

I'm still trying to figure out my feelings for him. When we're together I start to let my guard down and I have a feeling I'm going to do something idiotic.

"Oh...ok. See you later then?" Eric said, putting his hands in his pockets.

"Yeah, see you," I replied, gathering my stuff and heading to the parking lot.

Sometimes I kind of feel bad for Eric. I've become so used to putting up walls and masking my emotions that I forget that I don't always have to be so cold towards him.

My emotional detachment as a defense mechanism can be attributed to my asshole father who never once said he loved me and should never have had children. Obvious recipient of the title "World's Best Dad."

I hopped in my car and began to head home before it hit me: David's coming over.

I'm honestly overthinking the whole deal, and he probably doesn't like me like I like him.
But what if he does? It's the "what if's" that always keep him on my mind. I always vowed to not have any intimate relationship with people who go to my school, but David just feels, different. Whenever we talk, I find myself getting lost in his eyes and admiring his face, which is kind of creepy now that I think about it.

The fact that I was so lost in thought that I almost passed my house shows what this boy has done to me.

I pulled into my driveway, gathered my stuff and made my way to the house.

I as I approached the front door I could could hear loud music being played from inside.

I opened the door and saw Sarah and another girl that looked vaguely familiar in the kitchen.

I rolled my eyes. Of course Sarah had to have someone over the day David was coming to work on the project.

"Sarah can you turn that shit down, I have someone coming over," I said, coming off more rudely than I intended.

She raised her eyebrows then smirked. "Oooh, someone's coming over? Give me 10 bucks and I won't tell mom. And he better leave before she comes home because I'm not defending you this time."

"What? No, he's just coming over to work on a project," I retorted, making my way to the stairs.

Sarah's friend looked confused and to be honest, I forgot she was here for moment.

Then a glared at Sarah for basically making me kind of out myself in front of her friend.

Because of my notoriety around town, there were usually a lot of rumors going around that I slept with a lot of girls so this girl was probably confused by the notion that I had been sleeping with guys.

I was about to say something to Sarah before the doorbell rang.

Well, here goes nothing.
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Hey! Thank you so so much for being patient and sorry I haven't updated in a while, I've had more schoolwork than I intended lol. Thanks so much for reading as always and I hoped you enjoyed the chapter! :)