I'll Call You Back (Jalbert)

Chapter 5: The Great Divide

December 23rd

Around noon, Albert went downstairs to confront Jake. His hands were sweaty and shaking and an itch wouldn't leave his neck. As his heart pounded slightly, he hopped off the last step to see Jake eating lunch.

"Hey, Albert," he smiled through a mouthful of toast, "did you sleep good?"

"Y-Yeah," Albert said.

"Something wrong?" Jake said after a gulp.

Albert also gulped. "We need to talk,"

"That's never good, is it?" Jake chuckled, putting his toast down.

"You've been so worried about getting accepted into this college and.. you constantly check your phone and the mail and you jump at every ding..."

"...and..?"

"It's been bothering me. I love you so much, more than either of us can comprehend, and I support you a lot, and I want you to be happy. But you've been doing it a lot and- and it's been a burden."

Jake cleared his throat. "Do you care if I get accepted?" there was a scary tone in his voice.

"Of course I do, I-"

"Want me to fail?" Jake interrupted.

Albert's heart beat faster and a little lump formed in his throat. He couldn't take the guilt. "No, I don't want you to-"

"Succeed?" Jake got up, voice raised.

"No," Albert said, close to tears.

"I see," Jake sighed. "you're sleeping on the couch tonight." he went upstairs.

Albert could only keep himself together until the door slammed upstairs. He let himself fall to the ground and onto his knees where he let his sobs free. It was sad, it was, but also terrifying. Albert didn't want it to come to this. He felt empty. He felt like nothing. He felt like there wasn't a reason to still be alive. He felt he had no reason to be sad, like there were worse people out there that had worse problems and he was just privileged. He repeatedly asked the universe, why haven't you killed me yet?

Why, oh why?

I'm such a horrible human being.