That's Hockey Baby

CH. 8: "You really miss them don't you?"

 The Avs boys and I were meeting up at the hotel and just hanging out in Tyson and Mikko's room, hanging out while some of the boys play video games and others watched and just talked and goofed around. I was sitting at the bar with JT catching up with him when a drunken Gabe threw his arms around my neck from behind.
  "Hey Landy." I giggled patting his arm.
  "We miss you sooooo much Jaz. I'm glad you're happy out here though." he slurred. He gave me a sloppy kiss on the cheek before walking away making me smile and shake my head.
  "Speaking of happy, I hear through the grapevine there way be a reason you're so happy out here." JT said smiling slyly at me. I groaned.
  "Who told you?"
  "Teeks. We became friends when you started working for us, he liked to check on you and knew you wouldn't tell him if things were getting rough." he explained seeing my face full of confusion. I nodded slowly. Leave it to Travis to find a way to make sure I'm happy and safe no matter what it took.
  "Yeah, I mean I really like Nolan. I just don't know if I see it going anywhere. He wants to focus on his career and I do too."
  "You can both focus on your careers and still have a relationship. You'd prolly be surprised at how much it may even make your life better." he said throwing his arm around my shoulders and pulling me close.
  "He kissed me ya know." I said blushing into his chest.
  "Awwww." he pinched my cheeks so I slapped him hard on the chest.
  "Oh my God shut up." I giggled getting up off the chair and stood up and gave him a hug, holding on extra tight and sighing.
  "I really do miss you boys. I never would get to live my dream without you guys being who you are and helping me so much during my time with you. You guys made my job the easiest it could have been and I'm so greatful for every single one of you." I wiped my eyes as the tears started building. Before I could comprehend what was happening I had the whole team surrounding me in a group hug and I couldn't help but laugh through my tears.
  "Exactly." I smiled laying my head on the shoulder of Nathan who happened to be closest.
 It was well after 1 am when I finally climbed out of Nolan's car at his house. I was tired and sad knowing it would be awhile before I got to see my friends again. Nolan had already dropped TK off at the house, Ava had come home with Carter and they were all already asleep. I sat down on the couch and sighed, Nolan came up and sat next to me and looked at me with concern.
  "You really miss them don't you?" I nodded.
  "Yeah. They were my best friends for 4 years. We went through so much together, they are the only reason I even got back on the ice in the first place, granted not a lot or I would be better at it by now." I smiled sadly.
  "Why did you stop skating," he tilted his head to the side to see my face more clear. "If you don't mind me asking." he added seeing my face fall. I sighed.
  "No, its okay I just haven't told many people. Tyson knows and Travis obviously. Even Ava doesn't know." I took a deep breath and started talking.
  "My family and his had gone on vacation and me and Trav stayed behind because we had a game or something that weekend. We were having one of our 'competitions' on the lake by our house and I fell through." Nolan grabbed my hands that had started shaking and I smiled sadly at him. "He managed to help me out and called an ambulance to get me to the hospital. They said if I hadn't gotten out when I did I probably would have died. Ever since then I can't get on the ice without thinking about that day and freaking out. The first day Tyson got me on the rink in Colorado he thought I was dying because I was having such a hard time breathing. I don't know why arena ice isn't okay, because I know I'm not going to fall through there, but it doesn't help. I've been trying to get better about it, pushing my fears away and just getting out there because I know I need to. I loved the ice so much and it sucked having it taken away from me." he pulled me to him and I cried silently into his chest as he rubbed my back.
  "Ava doesn't know? Is that why she always pushes you to get back out there? And why TK freaked out when you came off the ice hurt?" I nodded.
  "We never told Ava because I didn't want to scare her. Its good actually because I need someone to push me out there, get me passed this so I can get back to doing what I love. I never would have gotten on the ice had Tyson known about it because he wouldn't have pushed me, after I told him I had to beg him to keep pushing me, but he never fully had the tynasity behind him that he did that first time because he didn't want to hurt me."
 Nolan and I had stayed up until almost 4 in the morning talking before falling asleep on the couch. When I woke up I was laying next to him, with my head on his chest and his arm around me. I smiled before closing my eyes again trying to back to sleep so I didn't wake him up because he looked so peaceful and adorable. My attempts to keep him asleep were fooled however when a loud 'AWWWWWWW SOOOO CUTE' was screetched from the top of the stairs. I groaned into Nolan's chest and he chuckled. Travis came bounding down the stairs and jumped over the back of the couch and landed right next to our feet.
  "I really hate you Teeks." I grumbled, pushing myself up off the couch and walking upstairs to the bathroom to wash my face.
 After washing my face and brushing my teeth, I shuffled to the kitchen to make coffee and start making something for breakfast. Travis came up and hugged me, apologizing for being such an ass.
  "I didn't realize you liked him that much Jaz. You know I'll have to still tease you, but I'll loosen up a bit."
  "He told you I told him didn't he?" he nodded and I sighed.
  "I do really like him, I'm just nervous. I don't know where this is going to go, or even like where I want it to go. I'm confused as hell." I said laughing sadly.
  "You know there is something that could help." he said turning me so I was looking at him in the eyes.
  "What?"
  "Talk! To! Him!" he paused after each word and I smiled at him.
  "How'd you get so smart? I know, I'm just gonna have to bite the bullet I think. Thanks Teeks." I kissed his cheek and pushed a plate full of breakfast towards him before sitting down across from him with my own. We talked for a bit and I realized I hadn't really gotten any time to catch up with just him since I had been back. We were always around the team or Ava.
  "You wanna hang out today? Go shopping or something like old times?" he asked me, reading my mind like always and causing my face to break out in a grin.
  "Of course."
 We finished breakfast and I went upstairs to get ready for our outing. When I passed by Nolan's door though, I knocked. He opened the door and looked a little surprised to see me there, but moved to the side to invite me in. I looked around and admired his room a little before sitting down on the edge of his bed.
  "I think we need to talk." I said and he nodded and sat down next to me. I grabbed hold of his hands.
  "I really like you Nol. I don't want to mess up anything we have going on here though. We work great together, and nothing is awkward, well except Travis. I know you want to focus on your career and I don't want to get in the way of that. You have so much on your plate already with the migraines and just trying to get better so you can get back to your self and to where you need to be."
  "I don't think you would get in the way, Jaz. Since you've been here I've only gotten better. I've been focused more on my game actually, because and I know this sounds crazy because we haven't known each other very long, but I want to make you proud of me. I see the way your face lights up for Travis when he scores or has a great game and I want that. You help me more than you know, just by being here. Before you came here I was moping everywhere, everyday. I hardly got up to do my training and I had myself convinced I was never going to be able to get back on the ice and I was giving up." I looked at him sadly, not wanting to think about him giving up on his dreams.
  "So can we please try? I can't promise you I'll be perfect, in fact I'm sure I'll fuck up a few things, but I've never wanted anything more than to try and prove to you I can be what you want." I nodded with tears in my eyes.
  "Yes Nolan, I would love to." I smiled as he wrapped me up in a big bear hug.
  "Wanna maybe hang out today then?"
  "Oh, me and Travis are supposed to hang out today, I haven't really gotten to spend any time with him since I got back." I said making a face.
  "That's fine, we could maybe go to dinner?" he asked shyly and I nodded.
  "Dinner would be great." I leaned down and kissed his cheek before walking across to Ava's room to get dressed.