The Wise Women

Chapter 19

Nesta surfaced from sleep the next morning with the hope that Theresa might have come back in the night. But when she saw that the bed was still empty, sadness twisted her heart once more.

Drained by shock and grief, she went through the motions of her morning routine. At the Stone Circle gathering, mist curled around her as she sat on the dewy grass, feeling empty inside but with a heart as heavy as stone.  She swallowed her breakfast without tasting it, keeping her eyes downcast to avoid the other women's sympathetic glances. All she wanted to do was go back to bed and pull the covers over her head.

Standing at the door of the hut Leonia now shared with the Burned One, stooped under the heavy weight of sorrow, Nesta tried to summon the enthusiasm to knock.

As she raised her hand, the door swung inwards and she found herself looking into the Burned One's wrinkled face. Her bright chestnut eyes were swollen and her weak smile spoke of their shared heartache.

'Come in, my dear.' Gently, the Chief Wise Woman took Nesta's hand. The old woman's skin was cool and papery but her energy crackled in Nesta's palm as she led her inside. The hut was in disarray. The Burned One's books had been unpacked neatly onto Leonia's shelves and the stag's skull propped against a wall, but the rest of her possessions were still in baskets on the table and floor. A kettle heated over the fire, filling the air with the fragrance of elderflower and hyssop.

At the table, Leonia and Ada were hunched over a piece of paper on which Ada was scribbling with a quill while her ginger cat curled purring in her lap. They raised their heads when Nesta came in.

As she looked into Leonia's eyes, anger flashed through Nesta. She knew it wasn't fair to blame Leonia for Theresa's running away but she blamed her anyway.

If she hadn't cut herself, if she hadn't cursed, if she hadn't brought back the memory, Tess would still be here.

Nostrils flared, Nesta took a deep breath, stretched her face into a half-hearted smile and willed the anger away. The reasonable part of her knew that it was no one's fault, not even her own.

O Goddess, protect Theresa, she thought as she sat down.

'. . . and you're able to control the morphing now.' Nesta realised that Leonia was talking to her.

'The next stage will be to morph consciously into another person's form. Like Ada does when she Shifts into an animal body, you can learn to take another human form at will. . .'

'But why would I want to?' Nesta snapped, the anger rising again. 'You don't know what it's like. It's horrible - being so completely submerged in another person's emotions you lose your own identity. I never want it to happen again!' Hot tears burned behind her eyes.

'Nesta, dear,' the Burned One said in a calming tone. 'I can imagine how horrible it must be for you, but if you were in control of it, if it was you who was deciding deliberately to enter into another person's consciousness and take their form, it wouldn't be so alarming. . .'

'What if you could stop the war?' Leonia's broken glass voice cut the Burned One off. Her piercing eyes bored into Nesta. Startled, Nesta stared back, mouth hanging open.

'What . . . what do you mean?' Her voice came out thin and strange.

'What if stopping the war depended on you learning to morph at will? Would you do it then?' Leonia leaned towards her. Instinctively, Nesta recoiled.

'I . . . I . . .' The words stuck in her throat. Eyes wide, she looked from Leonia to Ada to the Burned One. All three women were fixing her with expectant, almost desperate stares. Her stomach tied itself in a knot.

'How . . . how . . .?' Leonia reached across the table and grabbed her wrist.

'If it meant stopping the war, would you do it?' Her voice was louder now, more insistent. Her fingers pressed into Nesta's skin.

'Leonia!' the Burned One protested. 'You're being too . . .'

'Yes,' said Nesta. 'Yes, I would.'

*****

Nesta's legs trembled as she stood face to face with Leonia. Her heartbeat drummed in her ears like a woodpecker pecking a tree trunk.

'When you're ready,' the Burned One instructed, 'jump across into Leonia's mind like you did the first time you Soul-Talked to Theresa. When you're there, open up all your inner doors and let Leonia's consciousness flood in. Anything you want to add, Ada?'

The Shifter cocked her head to one side, stroking her cat with one hand while the other fingered her blond plait thoughtfully.

'When I Shift, first of all I think myself into the animal's body by imagining I have all its characteristics. I try and identify with it as much as I can and then the Shift happens naturally.'

'But first of all, focus on your heart,' the Burned One added. 'Establish yourself firmly in the essence of your own true self and that way, even though your body changes, you'll know your soul will always remain the same. When you're rooted in your heart, you'll always be able to get back to yourself.'

Nesta nodded once and closed her eyes. With the cat's purring rumbling softly in her ears, she centred herself in her rapidly beating heart.

Nothing exists but the beat of my heart.

She visualised a tiny flame kindling in the centre of her chest, growing steadily, burning brighter and brighter. Gradually her breathing became quieter and her heart rate slowed.

Here goes.

She opened her eyes and looked up at Leonia. Imagining she was looking at her reflection in a mirror, she observed the intense dark eyes with their long black lashes and strong brows, the lined forehead, sharp nose, straight-line mouth and long dark wavy hair.

This face is my face.

She matched her breathing to Leonia's – inhaling as she inhaled, exhaling as she exhaled.

Then she gritted her teeth, clenched her fists and jumped across.

It was different from being in Theresa's head. She couldn't hear Leonia's thoughts or see what she was picturing but she could feel her emotions as if they were her own and it felt like she'd jumped into an ocean of fear and dread. Nesta shivered, her breath caught in her throat. She suddenly remembered that Leonia's family were all in Frailing - nieces, cousins, uncles, aunts - and in that moment she understood. Nesta knew better than anyone what it's like to lose your whole family. She knew she too would have done anything, risked everything to keep them alive.

The morphing started in her hands - her fingers tingled as they grew longer. Had her fingers tingled when she'd morphed before? She'd always been too agitated to notice. The skin on her palms toughened and calloused. Her stomach swooped with a sensation like falling. Her arms and legs lengthened, soft flesh turned to muscle and sinew. Her back and shoulders expanded, stretching the fabric of her undershirt. Her eyesight sharpened and little by little she grew taller until she was eye to eye with the real Leonia whose expression softened into a smile.

They stood face to identical face, dark eyes looking into dark eyes and a deep understanding passed between them. Nesta's heart overflowed with sympathy. She felt Leonia's heart respond with a flood of gratitude. Both sets of eyes glistened with tears.

'Perfect!' Ada clapped her hands.

'Well done, Nesta! Now sit down and we'll tell you the plan,' the Burned One raised her hands, palms facing outwards and began chanting the obscuring spell.

Thank you for reading The Wise Women 😊

This is the turning point in the story.

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