You & I (BP Sequel) Harry Styles Love Story

20.

PHOTO RACHEL ON THE SIDE AND YOU CAN LISTEN TO MIGHT CHANGES ACOUSTIC VERSION WHILE READING IF YOU WANT, I DID WHILE WRITING IT!

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RECAP

"I MEAN, I LOVE SPEAKING TO YOU AND EVERYTHING BUT I KNOW YOU, YOU DIDNT JUST COME HERE TO GIVE ME A PEP TALK. SO COME ON TELL ME, WHYD YOU COME UP HERE?" 

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HARRYS POV:

I didnt know how to start it. How was i suppose to tell Rachel that i dont know if i love her like she loves me? That i dont know if i wanna be with Phoebe or not? How?

"Harry...." Rachel trailed off and i looked up at her. 

"I dont know how to say it..." I trailed off

"Just say it, dont think"

"Okay here it goes. I spoke to Robin outside about me, my feelings and you..." I looked at her face making sure to take in all her emotions during this speach. At the moment she looked shocked. 

"Okay and..." 

"And he said him, mum and some other people can see that i still love you but i dont know. I dont know what i feel. I mean dont get me wrong i do love you, just, i dont know if its in that way anymore." I heard her sigh and i saw her expression sadden before it went blank. I couldnt read her emotions easily like i use to. Shes got use to hiding them, so much. "I mean im with Phoebe and she makes me happy. I know i dont love Phoebe but i dont know if it could happen. I mean hell ive only been going out with Phoebe for a couple of weeks. I dont know where that could go. I dont know what im feeling right now and i dont wanna hurt ether you or Phoebe. This is what i spoke to my mum about in the kitchen just now. She said that she couldnt tell me what to do because its up to me but i dont know what to do ether. I mean i dont know where this relationship with Phoebe is going? I dont know if i love you like before or if its just a best friend love? I dont know what to do? What should i do Rachel?" 

I looked at Rachel looking down at her lap shaking her head. 

"I cant tell you what to do Harry" She said getting up and walking over to her window and looking out of it. I was getting frustrated. Not with Rachel but with myself. I dont know what i should do or how im feeling.

"Why not?! We use to always talk about relationships and the other would give us advice and tell us what to do? Whats different now?" I said standing up but staying by the bed. 

Rachel suddenly turned round with tears in her eyes looking straight at me as she spoke. 

"Because I'm part of it Harry!"

"SO?!" I shouted but i dont know why i was so angry. We were both now shouting at each other. 

"SO?! HARRY IF I TELL YOU TO LEAVE PHOEBE AND COME WITH ME THEN IM BEING SELFISH! CAUSE I WOULD ONLY BE THINKING OF MYSELF AND HOW I WANT TO BE WITH YOU! I CANT DO THAT! I CANT! BUT IF I TELL YOU TO STAY WITH PHOEBE I KNOW ITS GOING TO BREAK MY HEART ALL OVER AGAIN AND I DONT KNOW IF I CAN DO THAT ETHER! SO I CANT TELL YOU WHAT TO DO!" She shouted and i looked at her as tears streamed down her face. 

I couldnt do anything. She was right. As always. She couldnt tell me to leave Phoebe and go with her. That would be her being selfish and thinking about herself not anyone. But if she told me to stay with Phoebe, it would break her heart again. I dont know if i can deal with breaking her heart all over again. Ive done it too many times now.