Crescendo

Chapter One: Just another day.

"Real love is always chaotic. . . The greater the love, the greater the chaos. It's given and that's the secret."
                                     -Jonathan Carroll

As a little girl, I'd always dreamed of falling in love. My parents, the pillar of my romantic ideals, always instilled in me the importance of having a loving heart. They taught me that love was patient, kind, and always unchanging, and i believed them wholeheartedly, until i experienced it for myself.

What my parents didn't tell me about love was how powerful it was. See, love is very unpredictable emotion. In the beginning, it's like this spontaneous, mystical, gift that shows up on your doorstep wrapped up in a big, shiny, red bow. Excited, you open up your love and then BAM! It hits you. Love wraps you up in its warm, adoring arms tighter and tighter until you've been consumed entirely.

Once love has you in its hold, you're stuck. Indefinitely. Some people don't mind the grasp, but me? I need some wiggle room. Don't get me wrong. Love is amazing, it's otherworldly, it's breathtaking. But, even though love is all of these wonderful things, you must always remember that love is temperamental. One minute, it's sweet and delicate like a kitten and the next minute, it's a volatile lion, roaring at you with a voracious appetite.

Simply put, love is unfathomable. It's gives you a high unprecedented by any man made drug. Nothing can compare to the heights of love. But, always remember, what goes up must come down. So, if there's a high, there's a low as well. I like to call it the crescendo of love.

My crescendo began on a Friday morning. It was just another day, or so i thought. I had no idea that would be the day my life changed forever. Looking back on it, i guess it was only a matter of time.

Rewind to a year ago

"MEISHA !" I yelled from downstairs. I'd been calling her for five minutes and the bitch still hadn't answered.

Rolling my eyes, i stomped up the stairs and knocked on her door loudly. "MEISHA! OPEN THE DOOR !" I beat louder. Still, there was no answer. I wiggled the doorknob and found out the door was open.

I walked inside the room and found my older cousin, Meisha, sprawled across her bed wearing nothing but her thong. "Drunk bitch." I mumbled under my breath. Since she was asleep, i took it upon myself to search for my army green parka from H&M that i knew for a fact she stole out of my closet. She was always stealing my fucking clothes and i was sick of it. She claimed that they "technically" belonged to her too because this is her place and she pays bills. The apartment isn't even hers. It belonged to her parents but they signed the lease over to her under the conditions that she had to let me stay there with her. I would have preferred to live with them but they were somewhere in Florida living in some swanky ass retirement home while Meisha and i stayed in this hole in the wall Apartment building.

I searched her room quickly, throwing shit all over the place while i was at it. Her room was messy anyways so it's not like her dumb ass would notice. Finally, after what seemed like twenty minutes, i spotted my parka tossed in a corner beside her closet door. I picked it up off the ground and dusted it off a bit, then i left her room, making sure to slam the door behind me.

It was starting to get cold in Brooklyn so i put on a simple pair of skinny jeans and long sleeve white shirt with a pair of wheat colored timbs. I slipped on my parka and added a black infinity scarf and a few spritz of perfume. After fluffing up my shaggy, dirty blond, curly hair, i applied some winged eyeliner and a coat of clear lip gloss and i headed out the door.

After locking up the apartment behind me, i jogged down the stairs, avoiding the puddles of piss and roach blunts on my way down. Once i reached the bottom, i pushed the heavy door and walked out into the frigid autumn air.