Song Fics

To Build A Home - The Cinematic Orchestra

There is a house built out of stone
Wooden floors, walls and window sills
Tables and chairs worn by all of the dust
This is a place where I don't feel alone
This is a place where I feel at home

“Hindi! Pangit!” you groaned in annoyance, Brent smiling at you and how you stress over paint colors.

“Ano bang kulay gusto mo? Magkakulay kaya yan!” he pointed out, you rolled your eyes, it was a different,  magkaiba yung shade ng gray, one was colder that the other.

“I just want the house to be perfect Brent, I need this house to be perfect.” he hugged you, not minding the fact that the both of you were in a hardware shop.

“The house would be perfect, you want to know why? Because you will be there, because we will build our family there.” you smiled and kissed his cheeks.

“Kilig ka?” he asked, you nodded.

“So what color nga?” you said, bringing back the topic, you asked him to choose the color of the bathroom, completely forgetting about the color of the baby room.

“White?” he suggested, you nodded, you also want white for the master bathroom.

“Couch pala and TV?” he asked

“Later sa isang store, kalma tayo, kalma lang.” he said, his hands on your face to calm you down, you nodded again.

You wanted this house to be perfect, given the fact that you guys aren't married and you were having a baby. You feel like this house will be the first step to make eveything fall into place.

“Everything will be alright” he said, looking straight into you eyes. “I promise.” and you trust him.

'Cause, I built a home
For you
For me

“First night!” you giggled as Brent carried you inside the house, he nodded smiling widely.

“This is where we'll start our family, right baby? Mommy is keeping you safe inside, we'll patiently wait for you” Brent kissed your bump, as you sat down the couch, looking around the house, everything you wanted was followed, the lights, the high ceilings, the neutral colors, everything that you wanted Brent made sure that you got.

“Pag nalaman na natin yung gender ni baby, Ako mismo magpapaint ng room niya.” Brent boasted, giving you a glass of milk.

“Talaga? Can you paint ba?” you teased, smiling as he faked being offended.

“Ako pa ba? The crin we ordered online is on the way the here, tapos i'll build the crib.” he promised, making you laugh.

“Pinagtatawanan mo ba ako?” he asked, umiling ka, you held his hand, placing it on your cheek.

“Mahal na mahal kita” you said, staring into his eyes, he gave you a smile, laying in the couch, pulling you close to him. His hand on top of your unnoticeable bump.

“We'll start our family here, then i'll marry you, and then we'll live happily ever after” He said, closing his eyes, you also closed yours, imagining how the house will look if you had children, he wanted six, he wanted a big family, just like theirs, you want what he wants.

You imagine how the kids will look like Brent, how noisy it will be in the morning, how messy the place will be, how it will look at night when all of you bonds in the living room, watching a movie or playing video games.

You imagine how much of an adventure it will be, how many sleepless nights and smelly diapers, how hard it would be.

But then you have Brent, and everything will be easier when you're with him.

Until it disappeared
From me
From you

“I can't find a heartbeat.” your heart sank, tears started to fill your eyes and it felt heavy, you can't breath. Worry was shown in Brent's face as he asked the doctor for questions, but your eyes remained on the screen.

The doctor tried to find a heartbeat, but she couldn't. There was none, not even a faint one. This day was supposed to be the day where you'll learn about the gender, not where the baby will be removed from you.

“Do you want anything?” Brent asked, his focus on the road, you tried to smile, but the tears fell as you looked at him.

“I'm sorry.” you whispered, feeling useless.

“Okay lang.” he answered, trying to console you. But you both knew that it wasn't okay, you both knew that everything will change after this.

You're scared that he'll leave you after this.

“I'll take a bath lang.” paalam niya, you nodded watching him as he made his way upstairs.

“Sayang naman.” you said to yourself as you open the door to the baby's room. You tool a deep breath and opened the lights.

A gray wall, with neutral decorations, white crib, diapers, small sneakers from Brent's teammates.

Everyone was excited for this baby, but you just lost him.

Him, A boy, most likely the copy of Brent, small chinky eyes, with a contagious smile, a boy who'll love basketball as much as his father, you lost a boy.

“Kaya natin 'to” Brent wrapped his arms around you, hugging you tight as you cry hard.

Pero kaya niyo nga ba talaga?

And now, it's time to leave and turn to dust

“Ibebenta mo talaga ma'am?” you smiled at the question, looking around the house, it pains you to sell it. Marami rin naman ang memories niyo ni Brent dito, but maybe it was for the better.

“Oo.” you answered the agent, she smiled, writing some details about the house.

“Madaling mabebenta 'to ma'am, pang pamilya kasi talaga.” she said, walking around the house, you faked a smile.

Pang pamilya you built this house with a family in mind. A family you didn't get to have, you didn't get to experience. a month after losing the baby, things started to go downhill, endless fights, blaming each other, Brent always going out and coming home drunk, and you, trying your best to understand him, until Brent cheated, got the other woman pregnant, Leaving you alone in this house, this big house the both of you built.

Maybe that was the problem, you failed to make this house a home.