Harry P.O.V.
“It looks like Mr. Styles is having blackouts. Has this happened any other time before this?” The doctor asked me. I thought about it, the feeling of Louis rubbing my back soothing me.
“When I was younger, they’d come every day. But they stopped after high school.” I admitted.
“Is there any reason you thought about what you thought about?”
I didn’t want to admit that the reason I thought that was because I was scared my boyfriend would rape me.
“Well, uh…” I trailed off, messing with my fingers. I could feel Louis’ eyes on me.
“Is everything okay, Harry?” I heard Louis ask. I shook my head, feeling the need to hyperventilate.
“I was scared I was going to be raped.” I said softly, quietly. Louis’ hands moved from my back, and I felt tears spark behind my eyelids.
“Mr. Tomlinson, can you please step out of the room?”
I heard Louis shuffle out of the room, the door closing, and I finally let the tears fall.
“I heard Louis only had sexual relationships in the past, and I’m always so scared he’s going to want something and he’s going to use me.” I cried out, the doctors arms wrapping around me, consoling me as I cried and cried and cried.
Louis P.O.V.
My mind was reeling. I didn’t know whether to be furious at myself or sad about what he just admitted. He thought I was going to rape him? Me, out of all people? Obviously he does, if he had a blackout dream about it. I can’t believe he doesn’t trust me, I hate it. He should know I’m never going to do anything like that to him, that I’m not like that anymore. I love Harry. That’s it, I said it. I love Harry Styles, and I’m not afraid to admit it anymore. I have to explain everything to him.
“Louis? Are you in there?” I heard Zayn’s voice through my dorm, and then I heard his footsteps.
I turned the water off, splashing my face once more before drying it off, walking out of my bathroom. I froze when I saw the boy next to him, looking so small, so scared. I made him that way. He thinks of me as a monster.
“I want you two to talk it out. You can’t just ignore each other in your times of need.” Was all Zayn said before walking back out, leaving me and Harry alone in the room.
“Harry I love you.” I blurted out, walking up to him slowly. “I love you so much; I want you to know that. You don’t need to be scared of me, I promise you, and I’m not going to hurt you. I’d never forgive myself if I ever hurt you, trust me. I’m not like how I used to be with you. With you I’m genuinely happy. I’m so sorry I scare you, I hate myself for it.”
He said nothing. He just looked at me, staring, silent. I took a deep breath, sighing softly. I was about to walk away, but before I could, he took my hands and kissed me gently, sending sparks throughout my body and leaving tingles up my spine.
“I love you too, Louis.” He whispered when he pulled away, a smile on his face; a genuine smile. “And I’m not scared of you, just scared of what you’d do if you wanted anything I couldn’t give.”
“I don’t want anything except you in general, Harry. If you couldn’t give me sex, I don’t care about that. Your kisses, your hugs, you.”
He kissed me again, and this kiss held passion. Every single ounce of his passion traveled through this kiss, and so did mine. My arms wrapped around his tall neck, stepping on my tip toes just to be his height, and he giggled against my lips gently.
“You’re adorable, Lou.” He said quietly, taking my hand and leading me to my bed, laying down and pulling me next to him.
“What else did the doctor say, Harry?” I asked after a moment, tracing circles into his arm gently.
“I have schizophrenia, and constant blackouts, and the little dreams I had.” He said gently. “But he’s getting me a prescription.”
“I’m glad, baby boy. I just want you to be okay.” I told him. He nodded, cuddling closer into me.
“I’m going to be okay. You are, too.” He mumbled, and a few moments later, he was snoring gently into my chest.
“You two okay now?” Zayn asked, popping his head into the room. I smiled and nodded softly.
“Yeah. It’s going to take a while, but he’s going to trust that I’m not going to do anything he doesn’t want me to do.” I explained, staying quiet to keep Harry asleep.
“I’m glad. He was a mess without you. He honestly thought you hated him.” I shook my head.
“I could never ever hate him. He means far too much to me for me to just hate him that easily. Plus, I’m not that big of an asshole; hating someone when they’re already semi-scared of me.” Zayn chuckled softly.
“Does he know you’re moving in a few days?”
“No, he doesn’t. I’m gonna have to tell him, though, aren’t I?” I asked, more to myself.
“He’s worked hard this semester, as well as last year. I’m sure the dean won’t mind if Harry takes a little break to go visit his family and to go meet yours.” Zayn told me, and my smile spread across my cheeks, the thought of meeting Harry’s family and him meeting mine making me smile.
“I’ll ask him. Thank you for the idea, Zayn. You’d be okay with it?” I asked skeptically. He nodded.
“This just shows me how much you care for him; of course I’m okay with it.”
Zayn left shortly after that, leaving me with the snoring boy, and the thought of him coming with me.
