you found me//Destiel

two

Dean thought the hardest part was over. He really did. He assumed getting it off his chest would help, but it didn't. He still cried himself to sleep, the nightmares were still there, and the pain hadn't dulled. "Maybe telling me what actually happened will help." Sam would say but Dean didn't wanna talk about it. He just wanted to forget it. Why would he explain what happened? To relive it? No. It's too much.

Dean was about to take his 3rd nap that day when a knock on his door startled him a awake. "What?" Dean groans and Sam slowly walks in, holding his laptop in one hand, a plate of food in the other. A bottle of water was tucked under Sam's arm. "Hey man, I made you dinner. There's a vamp nest in west Pennsylvania, I'm gonna head there tomorrow. If you're up for it, I'd love to have you with me." Sam says while placing the food on his big brothers nightstand, placing the water beside it. "What's the point? I'll only end up fucking up and more people will die." Dean mumbles into his pillow. Sam frowned, shaking his head.

"That's not true Dean. Sure we can't save everyone but if we can save at least one of everyone, it's better than losing all, you know that." Sam says and Dean slowly looks up from his pillow, as if realization had hit. Just because he lost, doesn't mean other families deserve to. "I'll go." Dean says seriously, sitting up straight and Sam smiled, hopeful.

"Really?" Sam asks and Dean nodded. "Yes. When do we leave?" Dean asked and Sam shrugged. "8 in the morning maybe? Early but not too early. Wanna get there before midnight." Sam says and Dean nods. "I'll be there." Dean says and Sam smiled widely, a genuine smile. "That's good Dean. I'm still proud of you." Sam says while standing up, gesturing to the food and giving a stern look before leaving. Dean hadn't ate in two days and decided it'd do him good. He needs to be strong for tomorrow, and not eating will only make him weak. He's definitely lost some muscle over the past month.

Although Dean wanted to die sometimes, he couldn't leave Sammy alone. With no one. The kid is strong but he shouldn't have to go through life, the hunters life at that, all alone. Dean needs to be there to make sure his little brother is okay. He needed to start being there all in all in general really, he knew that. Dean ate and chugged down his water, feeling a bit better physically. Dean didn't know what to do, he wasn't tired anymore. The food kinda gave him a bit of a boost. So he did something he probably would regret and took out all of his photos he had.

Some were old, like from when Mom was still alive old. Some were even from before he and Sammy were born. Some were also fairly recent, months ago recent. They tried to take photos often when they had the chance, a life like this it's easy to forget people, forget events. It's nice to remember the good times when they happened. Dean placed the shoe box on his bed, and sat down. It was filled almost fully with photos, all stacked neatly in rows. He picked up the first row of them. On top was a photo of him and mom, he was about 4 in the photo, they were smiling and the photo always brought a tear to his eye because he actually remembered the day that it was taken.

Mary was pregnant with Sammy, fairly close to her due date. He remembered they were outside, he didn't remember what they were doing though. But John took out a camera, and Mary swooped Dean up in her arms, causing him to smile as John snapped a photo. Dean remembered how happy his Dad was. Laughing, his smile reaching his eyes as he put the camera down and hugged them both before rubbing Mary's stomach and whispering a soft "I can't wait to meet you Samuel."

Dean looked through all the photos. Smiling, tearing up and just reminiscing. There weren't many of Sam and Dean in there younger to teenage years. John stopped caring enough to take photos around that time. Stopped being a father. But there was one. One Dean held close to his heart. Dean had taken it.

He remembered vividly it was a day off school due to the weather, and John wasn't home as usual. Sam was bummed out because he actually liked school. Dean also knew the kid was fairly upset and broken over the fact that John was never around. He was at the age where he needed parenteral guidance and John just wasn't there for him. Dean remembered the camera John had, and he had rushed to go find it. Once he did, he rushed into the living room where 12 year old Sam was still pouting.