you found me//Destiel

nine

Dean didn't get why he wasn't okay at the moment, he didn't understand it but he wasn't. He wasn't one for caring about his mental, or physical health for that matter but he had to face facts that he was depressed.

He thought getting Castiel back would make it go away but that's just not how things work. It was draining.

They finished a hunt and he literally let Sam drive and fell asleep in the backseat.

Sam knew something was up right then and there. Dean never does that. Sure once in a while he let's Sam drive but he is always in the passenger seat right beside him "just in case".

Sam didn't say anything and let his older brother go, but he was concerned. Everything is finally taking it's toll huh?

When they got back to the bunker, Castiel stood up immediately, a concerned look on his face. He could sense how sad Dean was. Castiel even tuned into what Dean was thinking, though he usually didn't like to because Dean didn't want him to.

It was all negativity. Most importantly it was about himself.

"Hey, Dean," Castiel starts as he hurried over to his boyfriend, and Dean just looked at him like a sad puppy.

"Wanna talk?" Castiel asks and Dean honestly didn't. He just wanted to curl up and sleep.

"I just feel like shit, tired." Dean states and Castiel grabbed the taller man's shoulder.

"You can't lie when your boyfriend is an angel, I know what you're feeling right now and it's not tired. Talk to me, honey please." Castiel says and Dean softened up at the pet name.

"Okay." Dean says softly while nodding, grabbing Castiels hand in his as they walked to his room.

When they got to his room, Dean closed the door behind him and Cas turned to look at him.

Before he could speak, Dean started to tear up, pressing his back against the door.

"Hey, hey it's okay." Castiel says and hurriedly engulfs Dean into a hug, holding him tight.

"I feel so horrible and I don't know why. It hurts. I-I thought getti-getting you back would he..help. but I'm still sad. I feel vulnerable and stupid." Dean cried. He felt helpless. Like an injured animal surrounded in a corner. Afraid, hurt. Trapped within himself.

He ignored it most days, but some days were worse than others and this was one of them.

"I think I'm depressed or some shit." Dean mumbled into his boyfriends shoulder and Castiel shushed him.

"It's okay. I'll help okay? Let me help." Castiel says, making Dean look at him.

"I..I don't know how." Dean whimpers and Castiel pressed his thumb over Dean's lips softly.

"You're so handsome baby, don't cry." The angel says softly, holding Dean's face in his hands.

"You're depressed." Castiel says and Dean groaned and felt tears well up in his eyes more, threatening to spill over.

"You've struggled with it here and there throughout the years, I could sense it. But this time it may be a bit worse and that's okay." Castiel says and Dean sniffled, tears falling down his face.

"That doesn't make me feel better, Cas. I don't wanna go to therapy, no, I refuse to. I have a job to do." Dean says and Castiel frowned at him but continued.

"Depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain. I can fix it, heal it." Castiel says again and Dean impulsively leaned forward, connecting their lips together. Everytime his stomach filled with butterflies. He loved Castiel.