Thin As Water

5.

TW: This chapter contains allusions to child abuse, you have been warned. Also language. That section is italicized, so if you'd rather not see it, just skip when the normal text stops.

"Hey, Lil!"

Lilian turned around as she walked out of the Headmistress' office after delivering the forms. "Hazel!"

"Daisy told me you got paged. How did it go?" 

"It went well. No mishaps and neither of them tried to fight, so that was good."

"Hey, that's good. It only goes downhill from here."

Lil faked a glare. "Aren't you supposed to be encouraging or something?"

Hazel smirked. "Is that not encouraging?"

"Hazel!"

"Fine. It's true though. But you can handle it, you'll do great."

"Thanks." Lil smiled as the two friends walked in the direction of her dorm. "I see what you meant about having to put on a mask, it didn't even feel like it was me in there, it was almost someone else."

Hazel nodded. "Distancing yourself from your emotions can take some practice, but once you get the hang of it, it can help a lot, in a lot of different circumstances."

Lil looked at Hazel quickly, but the older girl seemed lost in her head. Lil took sudden interest in the floor, and the two stayed quiet the rest of the walk.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Lilian."

Lil turned around and noticed James motioning for her. It was nearing the end of the second week of school now, and so far she'd had to deal with five incidents.

"Yes, James?"

"We've got to go home this weekend."

"What? Why? I didn't do anything!"

James put a hand on his sister's shoulder. "Shhh, keep your voice down. Mother wants a 'progress check.'"

Lil groaned. "That's such a stupid phrase."

James rolled his eyes. "I don't like it any better than you do Lilian, but I don't make the rules. Be ready to leave tomorrow at 4."

"I'm not off duty until 5." 

"Alright, fine. You call mother and tell her that."

Lil's shoulders sagged. "I'll go tell the headmistress I need to leave early."

"Good girl. I'm sure someone can fill in for you."

Lil looked at the wall and didn't respond. James sighed and lifted up his sister's chin.

"If I could change her mind, I would've. I promise, Lily."

Lil gave a weak smile. "It's not your fault Jamie. I'll see you tomorrow."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hey Lil, why are you packing?" Daisy sat on her bed and surveyed the current mess by Lil's dresser.

"Gotta go home for the weekend. I'll be back Sunday night." Lil checked again to make sure she had everything she might need.

"Oh?" Daisy tilted her head and gave Lil a look.

"Yeah, my mom wants to know how school's been going so far." Lil gave Daisy a smile. "I've gotta meet James in 15 minutes, I'll see you Sunday."

Daisy jumped off her bed and gave Lil a hug. "Ok, see you then."

Lil kept her smile on until the door closed behind her, then walked with purpose and growing dread toward the front of the school.

"Oy, Lil!"

Lil turned at the sound of Hazel's voice. "Hazel, I'm kinda in a hurry- why are you wearing a Head Girl badge?"

Hazel grinned. "Because currently, I'm you. For the next hour, anyway."

Lil couldn't help but grin back. "I was wondering who the Headmistress would ask."

Hazel shrugged. "I guess one of the prefects is sick and so she needed more backup. Fortunately, I think I still remember how to do this."

"So your mask is still in place then?" Lil joked.

Hazel nodded, suddenly serious. "Right. Hey, are you alright?"

Lil nodded, heart beating faster. "Why?"

"Just, take care of yourself, ok?"

Lil nodded. 

"I will."

~~~~~~~~~~TW~~~~~~~~~~~

Darkness. 

So much darkness.

Was that James screaming or was she just imagining it?

Shivering fear and cold.

Suddenly, light.

Light flooding in.

And in the light, the dark outline of the spectre of a thousand nightmares.

"Lilian."

Stay silent. Words do nothing.

"Brat."

"Worthless."

"Little bitch."

"Fucking failure."

With each word, pain so sharp it took all her power to stay silent.

Stay silent.

Silence.

Breaking.

Shattering.

One single scream.

"You'll pay for that."

Little bitch stay quiet little crybaby worthless loser little whore youcrytoomuchstopyourfuckingcrying

Silence.

Just silence and pain and darkness.

AN: Please leave a comment