2 | Cry Baby

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"Congratulations, celebration
Cause my heart is the hardest to break
Break up to make up
Just to wake up with mascara all over my face
And I'm no cry baby, but you make me cry lately
I'm no cry baby, but you make me cry, baby"
- Demi Lovato

"Congratulations, celebration Cause my heart is the hardest to break Break up to make up Just to wake up with mascara all over my face And I'm no cry baby, but you make me cry lately I'm no cry baby, but you make me cry, baby" - Demi Lovato

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"I didn't answer your call to talk about Gabe, Des." I rolled my eyes while sitting in the twenty-four hour cafe that's nestled inside my condo building.

"I know, I just want to see the both of you happy again, and I know how much you guys make each other happy." I sighed, rolling my eyes slightly.

In all honesty, I needed to talk about Gabe, to get everything I've been holding in over the years out. It just isn't a simple thing to do. Everyone seems to think that Gabe slipped up one time and cheated on me which resulted in him having a baby. I foolishly let them run with that narrative because I didn't even want those closest to me to know how stupid I was over him, how stupid I still am over him because I'm still holding onto hope of this marriage.

Gabe and I didn't have the most traditional marriage, and we didn't care either because we were happy. I never went into details about my marriage with anyone other than my husband because no one would really understand the dynamic of our relationship. If I did try explaining it to someone they'd probably be confused on why I left him over him having a baby on me.

"How much we made each other happy. Things change, we changed."

I'd let so much slide in our marriage, let him get away with so much because I knew the bond we shared was unlike any other. I loved him, and I knew he loved me, so I ignored a lot because we both were getting what we wanted out of the marriage. I didn't believe in acting out, causing a scene, or trying to fight him if I knew I was going to stay in the long run. Gabe and I had an agreement when we got together. All I asked was that he kept his dirt out of my face, kept his dealings private. As long as he didn't embarrass me, I'd never embarrass him. I didn't police him and he didn't police me.

"Tell me how you feel, Bry. Honestly." Honestly. I knew I couldn't do that.

My mother would always tell me to never police a successful man. Never stress out a man who takes care of his household. Gabe did just that. He bought us our first house, my first car, my exoctic dog. He's always been a provider. When my scholarship ran out, he footed the cost of law school for me. It wasn't only that either, he provided in attention, communication, made sure we always had things planned to do with each other. We sat down the night he proposed to me and we made a list, a list of our dealbreakers. Infidelity wasn't on that list. A side family was at the top of the list. We both agreed that we wouldn't have children outside of our marriage and he broke that promise.

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