Success doesn't equate happiness. I've had to learn that the hard way over the years. With every disappointment, every let down, every heartbreak, my solution was to just achieve something. Gain a new award, a higher accolade, a bigger position. The...
"Don't give a fuck bout whatchu saying to me If I'm too big for my britches than give me a sheet I need room to grow I'm still figuring it out And if you say You ain't you lying Hell you talking about" - Maimouna Youssef
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"If you aren't ready I can tell them to turn around." Gabe tried assuring me as I paced back and forth in the living room. We just got back to Long Island a week ago. After successfully moving all of my things in and organizing my home office I went ahead and told Destiny to invite our dad and his wife over so I can hear what's going on from the source. I'm still not fully confident in being around him, but I can't keep prolonging it.
"It's fine. I just- I need- I-" I paused, taking a couple deep breaths to calm my anxiety down.
"You want me to make you some tea?" I nodded, taking a seat on the couch. Brae is spending the weekend with Gabe's parents which I'm grateful for since I don't know how this meeting with my parents is going to go and I don't want her to see me in distress like this. The tea that Gabe is making me isn't regular tea. It's infused to help me with my anxiety. I have medication for it I just hate swallowing pills. I can swallow them, but then I feel like it's stuck in the back of my throat for the rest of the day.
"You think I'm doing the right thing by hearing him out?" I spoke while walking into the kitchen, taking a seat on one of the bar stools at the island.
"No, but I know you want to hear what's going on. I just know that he's going to upset you. He's being sneaky. He didn't want to tell anyone the full story to basically force you to have to meet up with him. I just want you to remember that you don't owe that man shit. He's only reaching out to you because he wants something from you, not because he wants a legitimate relationship with you. Don't let him guilt you into feeling like you have to help him, Brynn, and even if you do end up wanting to help him don't give him no answer right away. You hear me?"
"I hear you." I spoke lowly while taking the mug of tea from him. The only thing my dad had told Gabe was that he had gotten into a terrible situation that he needed my help with. That's all he said. "I know it has to be something serious by the way Destiny reacted. I don't want to create a wedge between us because of my feelings towards my dad."
"Fuck all that. You aren't the one creating a wedge, she is. She experienced a Brynn who didn't speak for ten years, so the fact that she's trying to silence your pain and trauma is bullshit. Even once you started speaking, you still didn't even talk like that until you started them debate classes in college. She on some bullshit right now. You aren't here to please anybody. They're on your time. Remember that." I listened closely to him while drinking my tea. The more I drank, the more at ease I began to feel. It's been a while since I've had to take my anxiety medicine which just proves that my family is my main trigger.
"I miss Brae. Can we go get her tonight?"
"No. She's only been gone a couple hours, Brynn." I poked my bottom lip out and picked up my phone, going onto Instagram. After scrolling past a few pictures I decided to post one I took of Brae last night. I've been holding off on posting her on social media until all the paperwork was finalized and now that it is with no issues with Lisa, I feel it's appropriate to finally show her off as mine.
