Randicon One Shots and Drabbles

Mr. Nomicon

Randy knows his best friend is getting tired of him eye-fucking their history teacher.

"Cunningham, I am this close to gouging out your eyeballs" Howard makes a pinching gesture, but Randy is too busy doing what he does everyday in history class.

"Mr. Nomicon can fuck me while he recites the Theory of Evolution" He mutters while he watches his teacher discuss the biography of Charles Darwin.

"Is that what you find sexy these days now? I'd stay a virgin if dirty talk turns into textbook recitation" Howard groaned.

"Mr. Weinerman" Their teacher walked closer to their desks.

He's close...so close I could smell his cologne. Randy looks up and internally swoons at those eyes. Those eyes can stare at him everyday.

Mr. Nomicon crossed his arms. "Stop bothering your classmate. Unlike you, Mr. Cunningham actually listens to class. I cannot have a good student be distracted because you can't keep your mouth shut"

"S-Sorry" Howard whines as their teacher walks back to the front and continues to discuss the lesson. He looks back at his friend who seems to have seen the gates of heaven. You have got to be fucking kidding me.

"Howard..."

"Yeah?"

"Mr. Nomicon complimented me"

He rolls his eyes. ""Good" is not a compliment"

"It is if it came from him"

"You know you're not the only student that he calls "good". I mean look at Debbie" He gestured to their classmate who was busy writing down notes and asking questions. "If you're gonna ask me, I think Mr. Nomicon notices her more than you"

Randy gaped at him. "Hey, you don't know that"

Howard smirked. "I think I do. You don't even recite at all, and Debbie has always been one of the top students in our class. You, my friend, are just mediocre"

"I'll show you how I'm not mediocre!"

"Mr. Cunningham! Quiet down, or both you and Mr. Weinerman will receive detention"

"I'm sorry, sir!" Randy straightened his back. His teacher sighed and turned his back to them. He glared at his friend and whispered, "I can't believe you! Now my good student image is ruined!

"Never had one in the first place"

Randy scoffed and turned his attention back to class. I'm going to redeem myself! You'll see, Howard!

_________________________________________

Howard knows how his best friend thinks, and sometimes he doesn't, but that's just because Randy is an idiot. An idiot with a crush. So when he met up with the guy at their lockers, Randy was furiously reading their textbooks in history. What's weirder is that Randy's textbooks had little bookmarks on, words on pages were highlighted, heck even the mini quizzes in there were answered!

"Cunningham? Are you--oh...what the juice bro, seriously?" The dude's got bags under his eyes! "Uh huh yep it's official, you've gone insane"

"Beethoven composed how many sonatas again?"

"What the juice are you talking about? Musical composers are not part of the test"

"Oh...then...Napoleon..."

Howard wants to bang his head on the lockers.

_________________________________________

Randy wanted to bang his head on the lockers.

"Stop whining!" His best friend snatched his test paper. "So you didn't make it to first place in class. Big deal! You at least got eleventh place! Isn't that enough?"

"IT'S NOT ENOUGH IF I CAN'T IMPRESS MR. NOMICON"

"Not really, Mr. Cunningham" Mr. Nomicon approached the two with a smile. "This is a great improvement in your studies, I hope you can maintain this enthusiasm until you finish school. Good job" He reached his hand out and shook hands with Randy and looked at Howard. "You can take Mr. Cunningham as an example for your own studies, Mr. Weinerman. 15 points out of 50 is not going to help you graduate" At that, he left the two boys.

"Are you happy now?"

"I need to reach the top five if I want a "great job""

"I hate you"