No one but you will understand this, but I guess I'm a coward and I know you'll never read this, I'm sorry. I know you told me that they're empty words, but I mean them. I fucked up, i fucked up so bad this time, and I just want you to know that I hate myself for it. I miss you all the godamn time and you never get out of my head. I have so many regrets, but what I did to you is my biggest regret. He wasnt worth it, he never was, he never will be. I gained nothing but pain trying to avoid pain. I think of you a lot, and everytime I do, I hate myself more. You were everything to me once upon a time, and we changed the story. I scribbled all over pages I shouldve treasured. I'm so sorry that I gave you all the responsibility of saving a broken soul because I wouldnt even try to save it myself. I'm sorry for loading all of my problems onto you. I was so fucking selfish and I took advantage of your kind soul and willingness to help. This is all my fault, and I'm sorry. I tried to blame you but you were innocent, I was the villain and it's all my fault. And I'm sorry for everything, and if I could take it all back, i would, because none of it was worth it. I miss you, and I know I have no right to because I did this to myself. I just want you to know, that I'm sorry, and that it wasnt worth it. I also want you to know that I never told your grandma you were weak, I told her you were struggling, because you wouldn't let anyone help you, and i was hoping she could. You are so strong and kind, and I never deserved you. I never will deserve you. So if you never speak to me again, i deserve it, and if you never look at me the same ever again, I deserve it. Because it was all my fault, and I'm sorry. I just want you to be happy, and if I never get to be part of that happiness again, then I deserve all of it and more. I'm so sorry.
YOU ARE READING
The Faults of Life
AcakJust weird things, that's it, I don't know how to explain it. They're just things to think about.
