A Dream of a Long Winter

4: 'The timber's already a boat; the rice is cooked'

Days turned into a month, and my slow pace finally led me home. As I stood at the foot of the great mountain, I could only smile. How long had it been since I had finally returned? It was a boring journey, but if I could finally see my clan again it was worth the toll. Mount Kunlan never changed, despite standing since the beginning of time. Its jagged peaks formed from millenia of storms were covered in heaps of snow, and the plum blossoms that lined the entrance still had the sweet fragrance of nostalgia. Behind me were the trees Daji and I would climb, and the forest where master had introduced us all to nature's harvest. Though the mountains weren't inhabited by many, the wildlife still thrived. Young fox spirits needed to eat, and so master taught us to hunt for game and pick the berries native to the land.

A thought suddenly emerged as I reminisced. How would I tell them? How would I tell master that Daji died? We had left without even a word to him and now... What would he do?

I entered the main cavern, a nervousness I had never felt before sitting in the pit of my stomach. As soon as I took in my surroundings, that feeling only grew. This cavern was once a lively center for all the fox spirits to gather. My sisters and brothers would sit in this place conversing and playing until the night fell, and when it was meal time they would share the meat caught that day with each other. It was always decorated with the handwoven rugs and paintings from the older fox spirits, but the cavern before me was completely empty.

I searched in a frenzy for any sign of life, anything at all, but I could only see old decaying bones scattered across the floor, and insects crawling down the walls. Rats scurried back into their holes as I ran through the caves like a madwoman, spider webs clinging to my body the deeper I went.

My breath came out in short, sporadic pants as my vision grew blurry. Master must still be here, I thought, trying to calm the panic inside. He must be.

I knelt by one of the old beds of my siblings, and grasped onto the hard surface, steadying my inner chaos. More bones littered the corner of the small room, these unusually small. The young, the old... there was no trace of them. Stains of darkened brown and red streaked each room I checked, down the walls and on the ground.

I knew what happened here on Mount Kunlan. It was cruel, swift and something a human never could achieve. But I didn't want to believe. No, I couldn't believe, and so I steeled myself, pushing toward the clan master's chamber.

Master was always different from the rest of us foxes, and not just because of his title. His bearing, his appearance, his power... they all seemed far above that of a normal fox spirit. Even with master's cultivation and years of wisdom, he was like a god that descended from heaven rather than an earthly entity. The clan believed it was his male body that gave him such an aura. Male fox spirits were rare, and they were the clan's only hope to continue their lineage.

I was always jealous of the treatment the boys in the clan received. They were pampered and spoiled, even if they had no power. While the females went out into the world to train, the males remained in the clan and were protected with diligence. I wanted to prove my worth to the elder foxes for so long and sully my brothers' names, but now I only wished for them to return.

With frenzied eyes, I scanned master's room for any sign of a body or struggle. His room was exactly the same as I remembered, just an empty cave with a single bed and table in the center. The blankets were untouched and folded neatly; the table had a small pitcher of water on it that appeared undisturbed. It was tidy, unlike the rest. There was no trace of the other creatures that scurried around in the rest of the caverns, as if someone had been here to ward them off.

I sighed in relief, allowing myself to finally soften and relax. There were no bones, no pieces of clothing, no items of importance left. Master was most likely alive.

I slumped over onto the cold ground and listened to the moan of the wind echoing through the caves. And then, all my feelings spewed out of my body in the most vile of ways. I heaved and choked as my long empty stomach forced whatever was inside out. Clear fluid stained my robes and dripped onto the surface below, the whole room smelling of putrid bile. Tears streamed down my face as reality that I held back, dawned on me.

My home, my family... all obliterated without a trace.

I laid my head once more against the cool earth as my body curled into a loose ball. I, in just a moment, became the last known living fox spirit of my clan. The liquid that trickled down my lips reminded me of the ones I spent my youthful days with. Immortality? What did it matter when there was no place to call home? What did it matter when those you called family were gone?

I cried for Daji, for my master, and for all the clan who had been struck down by an unknown force. For three days, I slept in the clan master's chamber, wallowing in my own thoughts and misery. Daji and the rest of my siblings visited me in dreams each time I slept, whispering their thoughts and desires into my ears.

"Avenge us. Keep the clan alive."

"Save us. Kill all who harmed us."

Whispers and whispers. Voices of young and old, all so familiar, urged me to awaken. I tried to talk to them, but they never answered. Daji was the only clear silhouette among the many translucent figures that surrounded me. She laughed heartily as she always did, slapping my back with a heavy hand.

"Huxian, what are you doing just laying around?" she scolded. "Get up and make me proud!"

I could only stare at her in joy, and rushed to her side. "Daji, wh-"

"Quiet," she exclaimed, her hand covering my mouth. "Listen to your family. We will guide you to where you need to go."

The fourth day, I awoke with a new set of goals. It was as if I was reborn! I felt a burning desire eat at me like a starving beast, and my body was more than happy to react.

"Daji!" I called out into the silence. "I'm leaving! If you're going to follow me, wake up!"

I hummed a nonsensical tune as I cleaned my robes and face. The extermination of an entire clan could only be done by a more powerful one, or by the gods themselves. I recalled the heated past the snake and tiger clans had with ours. They could be the perpetrators, but first I had to know if they worked together or alone. I couldn't cross out an alliance. The distance between the territories was vast, so the fox clan did not know of any news from the others.

The gods... the gods were a different story all together. Those all powerful beings held a deep hatred for spirits since the beginning of time itself. Most deemed us to be an evil that needed to be expunged from existence, even though only some spirits could be considered that. If the gods truly decided to wipe out the foxes, I could not fight back alone.