A Dream of a Long Winter

5: 'Wishing a long life, though sharing moonlight from afar'

As I left Mount Kunlan, a haze suddenly swept over me and my vision began to fade into darkness. When I opened my eyes, three small faces were looking down at me with great concern.

"Huxian, how could you be so stupid? We were so worried!" A tiny hand grabbed at my hair and pulled hard, causing a loud yelp to slip past my lips.

That face... I stared in wonder at the little girl, whose eyes were dark as the night sky and hair a brilliant shade of red. Her name was one I had not spoken in perhaps a hundred years.

"J-Jing?" I stuttered in a high pitched voice. I clapped my hand over my mouth in shock as soon as the words left it. What happened to me? Since when did my voice sound so childish?

"Look, Huxian has gone insane!" the young girl chortled with glee. "Serves her right for pushing me that hard!"

Another child hit the back of Jing's head roughly. "Quiet idiot!" the child scolded. "You were the one that threw her favorite knife in the stream!"

I couldn't believe my eyes. It had to be a dream. The girl who hit Jing's head... was that not Daji? Tears immediately began to form as I stared at her in awe. Daji looked so young, so happy. I couldn't remember the last time she had been so lively, yet here she stood, like a ghost from the past forever haunting me.

She reached her hand out to help pull me from the snow, before different chubby fingers blocked her. Xianli, another fox cub, grinned as she waved my old training knife in my face.

"Here take this back," she said proudly. "You're a fool for jumping in that water. You're lucky we were there to fish you out!"

Her words awoke me from my trance, as I recalled this same scene happening two hundred and fifty years ago. The day before this happened I played a petty trick on Jing. That silly fox decided to take my training knife and throw it into the river for revenge. And I, being just as silly, jumped in after it not knowing how to swim.

I laughed bitterly and looked down at my tiny hands. It seemed this was just a memory... Was it fate's way of toying with me? Did it want me to forever long for these days by letting me taste them once more? I began to laugh harder. Truly, it was far too cruel.

The three fox children watched me anxiously as I laughed. Jing hurried to help me up from the snow and brushed the icy residue from my hair.

"Y-you didn't actually go insane did you?" she asked, lowering her head in guilt. "I didn't mean for it to go this far."

Daji grabbed my hand, her warmth I had missed for so long enveloping my body. "I think something's wrong with her," she cried out in fear. "Let's bring her to the clan master!"

The three foxes began dragging me back toward Mount Kunlan, tears streaming down their faces as they coaxed me to follow. I was going to stop them and say I was fine, but it somewhat amused me to see them in such a panic. Jing and Xianli were two devious children, like most other fox spirits. We used to play games on the rest of the clan together before that got boring, and morphed into who could play the best trick on the other. Perhaps it was the mischievous side of me I had long forgotten that came out, but I couldn't help plotting. One rule we had developed was no matter what happened, we could not go to master about the other. Even if Jing had thrown me into the river herself, by that standard I couldn't go and tell him.

How funny would it be if Jing was the one that told him about the matter? She would be breaking her own rule! After she was punished, I would act normally. She would be angry beyond belief!

I laughed silently to myself. The memory seemed to be bringing forth what I had been in the past. I cared not if it was just a fleeting moment... I would relish in the time as long as I could. Daji was there and the fox clan was there. If I could live forever in those dreams I would give up everything without a second thought.