Resistance

Chapter 13

I was a coward, pushing away the one person I wanted the most. Why else would I follow Erwin's rules without question? When he'd asked me to wash Eren's scent off, he presented me with the perfect excuse to create distance between us, and what had I done? I reached out and took it, because I was still afraid. Afraid of wanting Eren. Afraid of giving into my instincts. Afraid of what would happen during the upcoming expedition. In this field of work, deaths were inevitable. I'd accepted that long ago, but the thought of losing Eren, my mate, my alpha, hurt more than I thought possible. I didn't want to let him in just to watch him die. And with the way this war was going, all of us would be wiped out soon enough.

I'd made my choice when I walked out of that locker room. I chose my career, one that I'd been more than willing to give up whenever I allowed Hanji to inject me with another dose of suppressants. When that serum ran through my veins, I took another step closer to death, yet I'd convinced myself I was doing it to uphold my reputation. That was laughable, because it turned out to be a lie. It took finding someone that made me want to live to see that. So what was I fighting for now? I didn't know anymore. Everything was complicated, tangled up and undecipherable. One thing was clear, though: If I didn't make up my mind on what I wanted, Eren would stop waiting for me.

I turned onto my back, wincing as my muscles protested the movement, and stared up at the ceiling. Lights out had been hours ago, but I couldn't fall asleep. My mind was brimming with thoughts that wouldn't allow me a moment's peace. But what else had I expected to happen when I went out of my way to miss dinner to avoid Eren? I'd even skipped out on our plans to meet at his apartment.

"When did you become such a coward, Levi Ackerman?" I said into the darkness, my voice small and pathetic.

Amidst the sheets, I was a concretion of pain. Heat lapped at my muscles, tightening and grinding them against my bones. These were the consequences of going an entire day without Eren's scent on my skin. I knew if I went another twenty-four hours without it, I would go into heat. My body was calling out to him in the only way it knew how, by trying to lure him in with my scent.

Why had Erwin asked this of me? What was his plan?

I sat up in bed and slid my legs over the side. After I coaxed my limbs to cooperate with me long enough to stand up, I made my way over to the mini fridge in the corner of the room. I'd almost made it there when someone knocked on the door, hard enough to startle me a few steps back. I lurched to a stop, pressing a hand to my chest in hopes of settling the erratic thumping of my heart, and listened. Nothing. Then...

"Levi." Eren's voice, scratched raw.

I shivered as I stared at the door, picturing him on the other side of it.

He'd come for me. He hadn't given up yet.

"Levi," Eren repeated in the same voice that made my insides boil, "open the door." Although his tone was calm, there was no mistaking the command in it. I'd never heard him like this before. My entire body responded to it.

Not trusting my voice to remain steady, I walked up to the door and pressed my forehead against the cool wood. His scent was heady and demanding. I inhaled deeply, imagining the taste of him on my tongue, and moaned in the back of my throat. He wasn't holding back. Would his skin be the brilliant pearlescent of his ancestors? His eyes the deep shade of silver that revealed just how strong he truly was? Whenever he gave into his alpha essence, the royal blood running through his veins became stronger, more potent.

I ached for it.

"Why did you come here?" I asked in a whisper, but I knew he could hear me.